Private child maintenance

[April2018]

Has any come to an agreement for child maintenance privately based on 50/50 child split, if so any advice on how?

Thank you

Is one party earning much more?

Is there a big discrepancy in earnings?

Or is one party footing the bills for them both (BIL & ex SIL do this - he pays school dinners, wrap around, school trips, uniforms and extra curriculars and she reimburses him proportionately as they found that easier than organising things separate)

Yes. One week on one week off. ExH pays schools fees for 2DC currently £35k a year plus other school related bits and bobs like tutors etc.

I was on yesterday thread where you said fees were 10% of you and your husband’s take home pay?

If they take 50% and you 50%, the only costs are for clothing they might need that is shared.

When the kids are with them, they have to shelter and feed the children.

When you're not together, you shouldn't expect to also receive their income if it's 50%, regardless of who earns more. That income is not yours and 50% is half.

If you can't afford to not recieve anything and also look after the kids, you can't look after the kids and so should give responsibility over to the person who can pay.

It's not about who earns more, it's about what costs are incurred on either side for how much care they share.

If it's 50% and you can't afford a house, that is not their responsibility and you will have to let your children live with them more because you can't look possibly afford to look after them.

But you could have them for the day to see them and return them so they can go to bed in a warm house and so on.

@Thelasttea that's with my current husband not ex.

Good of ex to be paying full fees for your children with him

whilst you pay for the fees for your children with current partner

Ex - £75000 (pre tax)
Myself - Work, UC , CB £ 27000 (post tax)

Ex has offered to pay some maintenance.

My children will always have a warm bed , not sure what gave you the impression they wouldn't!

We split everything 50:50 so for example contact lenses, braces, mobile phones, school trips etc. I pay for them and then once a month I drop him a text with how much his share is and he transfers it over to me.

I think you're misunderstanding: it was an example not an accurate representation.

I've added info below?
Any advice
Thank you

I have a similar wage gap with my ex and we still split everything 50/50 but he helps out with extras where they are needed for example my sons DofE equipment or my daughters singing exam. The DC know there’s an income disparity and that things like take aways and expensive holidays are done with their dad and does niggle me sometimes but I’d rather have my independence from him.

Do you mind me asking, we're you married abd if so what financial split did you decide during divorce? House equity and pension

We were married but in rented so no equity split. I was also the higher earner at the time so had the bigger pension which I kept. The roles have reversed now though and I work part time and receive UC and he earns circa 100k pa. Splitting it 50/50 works for us and a lot depends on how reasonable he is. My ex used to pay me child support but would hold it over my head because he knew legally he didn’t have too. Finally in end I just said let’s split everything and it’s going much smoother now. He’s good at paying on time and it’s removed a bone on contention between us.

It also means I’m not relying on his child support to live and pay bills etc so when it stops when the kids are 18 it won’t be as bad.

Sorry if that’s a little long winded!

Your 27k net is more like 50k gross vs his 75k. So not too dissimilar especially as he’ll be in higher tax bracket for his extra gross salary

if he’s genuinely doing 50:50 then he shouldn’t need to pay maintenance. Does he buy clothes, share of uniform etc already?

This isn’t correct.

£27k net = £32,500 gross.

His £75k gross = £54k net per annum (double her earnings).

If he is going 50:50 then nothing would be payable.

Morally though - as his net income is double yours I would be requesting a contribution to big ticket items / school uniforms etc,

Thank you