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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Agreement of maintenance

3 replies

April2018 · 27/04/2025 15:53

Has anyone came to a personal agreement with ex regarding child maintenance payment when 50/50 with children?
If so how did you agree amount?

I called CMS and they said if 50/50 no need for maintenance.

If maintenance done privately without CMS would mortgage companies take this into account?

OP posts:
GreatDad1988 · 28/04/2025 16:17

CMS are correct here.

50% is half. That means the costs incurred by the other party is half of the whole and half is your responsibility.

The incomes of each person do not matter in this regard because nothing is due.

If say you are jobless and your ex is rich, it still doesn't alter the situation. Their money is theirs and yours is yours.

If you can't afford to have your kids 50% of the time and pay for housing and food, then you have to give up some of that time to the parent who can afford to provide such care.

I had similar arguments with an ex partner, even though I moved hundreds of miles to be closer to my daughter, bought a house and got 50% care and thus had my own costs, they still wanted to receive child maintenance just because they earned less and they needed childcare on their days. But here is the point: their childcare costs are not mine, my childcare costs are mine. I am not responsible for childcare costs on their days because the care is shared 50%.

I even said "I'm not refusing to give more money if they need clothes and whatever, just send me the receipt" - all vehemently argued against but all was false. 50 is HALF, nobody owes anything to anyone.

In regards to the mortgage: You have to tell the mortgage company your outgoings and costs. If you have 50% care, then you have to state the expected costs of that care because it is an outgoing by someone dependant on you. It doesn't matter if it's informal or formal.

But here, since there is no payment to either person, you only need to state your costs not payments since there should be none to either parent.

April2018 · 28/04/2025 16:29

Thank you
My ex is a higher earner than myself and has agreed to pay me some child maintenance privately.

I have spoken to mortgage company this afternoon and they confirmed if a regular private payment is made into my account it may be counted towards mortgage capacity.

I'm looking for examples of how people have arranged this privately as I'm aware not possible with CMS.

OP posts:
GreatDad1988 · 28/04/2025 16:31

If your ex has agreed to give you x amount then state x amount minus the ongoing costs related to care...

E.g. if you receive £50 per week and your costs of caring for a dependant are expected to be £100, then the costs you should declare to the mortgage company is £50 (£50 - £100 = £-50).

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