My husband and I have been having problems for some time (only married 3 years). We have no intimate relationship, none. He's on medication which he says is the cause, but refuses to be seen by Dr. This has left my self confidence shattered and our commutation is awful. We have a beautiful little girl (we got pregnant really quickly, and I could tell that even while trying it was only because he had to do it if that makes sense). We've been intimate once in 2 years at this point!
I saved up for mat leave but spent the little I'd managed to save. Was completely blindsided by him while on mat leave as I had to use my credit card and overdraft to stay afloat, while he had thousands in the bank. He knowingly left me struggling. Only after breaking down to him did he step in and pay all of the household bills, but I was already in this debt. He said there was no point in "throwing money at the situation" and did not at the time offer to help me out of debt, even though he had the means. He said all the right things and was then offered a very high paying job in America. I think I hoped this would be the making of us really, and thought what an amazing opportunity for my little girl. Also thought well this will help me out of debt (I went back to work part time after bubs so would have struggled a long time to pay that off). Anyway we're in the US now and I have so much resentment towards him. Resentment that he has completely neglected me physically, financially, emotionally. I should add that I'm basically a single married mother. I can't work here due to visa category so we have a joint account but this makes me so angry because he wasn't there for me financially at the most vulnerable point in my life, but now that it's convenient for him as he wanted us to come here, he's paid off my overdraft and credit card and now we have this money that's 'ours'. He's also hardly ever made effort with my family or friends but again now that we're here I'm expected to make all this effort with all of these new people he works with and I don't find getting to know new people very easy. I have always made a lot of effort with his family and friends though. I think because we're away from home and my support system, and I feel isolated and lonely, it's amplifying all of these thoughts and feelings. I just don't know what to do and I'm aware I've made such a mess in coming here and my poor little baby is stuck in the middle of all of this. I feel like a terrible mother so please go easy on me in the responses. If you got this far, thank you so very much.