Presents “from the kids” for the ex husband

[loulou1979]

Evening, we are in the process of divorcing. We’re separated but still living together until his house purchase goes through. It’s my husband’s birthday next month and I’m wondering what to do re his gift etc. I don’t plan on getting him any more gifts but I’d like to get him something from the children. Our kids are 15 and 12 years old. What do you think is a reasonable amount to spend? He’s asked the kids for a pair of walking boots…

im not sure how he’ll spend his birthday. We did have tickets for a show for all 4 of us. I’ll wait and see what he says. Urgh it’s so awkward!!

I tell mine to look on Amazon or if we are in the supermarket they choose something there. Usually to the value of £10.

I used to get a type of wine that he knew I hated for Christmas/Mothers Day/my birthday. I'd graciously accept and then re-gift.

Could he mean aldi walking boots at a tender each = £20 ?

otherwise what the hell is he thinking?
Id speak to him or text him and say:

“the kids want to give us gifts for birthday Christmas and mothers/Father’s Day. How do you want to do this?
We give them a fiver each to buy flowers or chocolates or what?”

And see what the idiot says.

Mine really milked my ex on mothers day and got me lovely stuff, it made me very happy 😂 totally off their own backs
I would go with the small budget and help them with shopping...BUT if they felt strongly they wanted to get him something bigger I'd respect that too.
Not something he'd asked for though!

A tenner each is fine. My secondary school kids walked past an industrial estate and the a supermarket, Poundland, Card Factory and B&M on their way home from school so bought from there.

@startingagainfgs brilliant for your mothers day!

@loulou1979 I made the mistake in yr1 of separation of letting the kids persuade me to get him a 60 quid lego set - I got fk all for my birthday and the following mothers day. I now leave it firmly to the kids to sort - I will facilitate them buying stuff but not fund it.

I’ve given the kids £10 each. He’s also asked them for a Guinness infusion thing worth £30 🙄 I tried explaining to my daughter the gift will be from her not from me and no I won’t be putting any more money towards it. Now I’m the bad guy in her eyes, she says I should be nicer to him 🙄 She said she thinks the divorce was my idea when actually it was him that brought it up. Why are we (mums) always the punching bags and skape goats for the man child’s shitty behaviour?! Meanwhile he’s off “staying with a friend“ yet again tonight and I’m the bad guy.

@loulou1979 I don’t believe in lying to children - especially ones your age to “protect” the other - you should make it clear it wasn’t actually your idea

thats true he raised it first although i was (and am) very happy to agree to it 🤣 Im trying really hard not to bad mouth him. Hes really pissing me off behaving like a single guy when hes still living in the house with us. I just hope one day they'll see his behaviour for what it is

I’d say to your daughter that you’ll rethink for next year if he spends a lot on you, but that typically adults don’t give each other presents once they are divorced.

I’d also be tempted to suggest that the charity shop might have walking boots in his size 😂

The first year my ex and I split up he was a complete twat to me, I gave the kids (at that point 4 and 2) a tenner in Poundland and no direction whatsoever. They were very proud and I was very amused!

He’s taking the p*

Just say to the children that all parents really want is to spend time with their children on their birthday and maybe a handmade card or they could bake a cake.

As for the separation, my ex also blames it all on me and has told the kids we separated against his will. He didn’t tell them about his affair, or all the ways he’s treated me badly over the last ten years. In time, they will work it out…

Enjpy what will soon be your house

They don't think, they expect free maid/butler/housekeeper service.

Let her think that, you do you, be her parent, and keep your boundaries. You and he got divorced, that's between you two alone