Nearly at the end - so super happy

[notmypeasnotmyallotment]

I'm nearly at the end of this all, so wanted to let those who have just started this journey that although it doesn't feel like it now, it does get better.
Only 5 weeks until I can hit the divorce button now and the longest part was the initial 20 week cool off period!

There's been ups and downs and we still have to share the house while it's being sold but my world is a better place and I can't wait to move into my own place with my kids :)

Little bit of background, been with (who I thought was) my best friend for 26yrs, married for 16, 2 great kids, found our forever home 7yrs ago and couldn't have been happier....except Mr Golden boy family man started an affair that year, with someone he didn't even have feelings for and last year just by accident I read a text that didn't sit right with me and the my whole world unravelled, at the time I never thought I'd get over it or ever trust anyone again. He lied and gaslighted me constantly thinking he could get me to forgive him but slowly more and more of the horrible truth came to light.

But I did get over it, I'm a stronger person for it, I chose not to dwell or be bitter or miserable, I read all the forums, read all the books and put myself first. I've even been on dates this year and I'm having the time of my life, 7 months ago I didn't want to be alive.

Just wanted to leave my story here as when all this first happened to me reading other peoples happy endings really helped me through it all...and beta blockers, lovely little buggers lol

Onwards and upwards, life is too short and all that.

Great that you're doing so well OP. When you get your own place with the kids, it's an amazing feeling.

My ExH left for the OW 13yrs ago when our kids were 14wks, 2 and 6. It was really hard at first but within about 6 months I realised I was happier without him and a couple of months later I met my now DP. My ExH did me a favour leaving as I found someone who truly loves and respects me.

So happy to read this @notmypeasnotmyallotment! It’s been a difficult ride here with non-mol and occupation orders so far and I’m still stuck in the self-loathing stage, questioning where I dropped the ball for my marriage to unravel the way it has but reading threads like this gives me so much hope. Sending positive vibes your way- make sure you mark the divorce with a holiday for just you and your children. That’s what I hope to do!

@SabreToothTigerLily- so happy to read life turned out so well for you too! I’m actually coming round to the idea that one day I might meet someone else- a few months ago, I’d written myself off at 41 with two young DC!

Sorry you've had a rough ride.

But don't write yourself off yet - there are far more many good times to be had.

Please .....no one should write themselves off! I'm 48 soon and quite a chunk and I honestly never thought in a million years I would ever date anyone again but I've met 2 really lovely men this year, one lived too far away for it to work so we called it a day, which was sad but it was my decision and all part of putting myself first these days...but being made to feel wanted and special again has been absolutely amazing.
Second lovely man I'm currently dating now and once again I'm having the best time, a real gentleman with no games involved as he got divorced in similar circumstances, with his wife cheating (I'd absolutely never date anyone who had cheated, might as well have forgiven the Ex if that's the case lol).

Dating in later life is amazing, no need to worry about marriage or living together or having kids, its all just the fun side of things. Lovely walks, dinner etc loads of fun flirting.

There's is definitely life after divorce, you just have to look for it.