Can I ask my ex to stop calling me my nickname?

[MyRoseMaker]

I am currently going through a divorce, which was never going to be that amicable after my stbx cheated and left me when I was pregnant for the OW.
We are now trying to wade through the depths of co parenting, and on the whole I can put differences aside for the sake of the children. One thing I find really really triggering is that when he emails or speaks to me he always addresses me with my nickname (just a shortened version of my name.) All my friends and family call me it as a term of endearment which I really like. However, when he calls me it I just find it patronising.

There was a lot of emotional torment from him, particularly at the end and during my late pregnancy and the birth, and I feel really broken by everything he did still. Whilst he runs about playing happy families with a new woman (who was a friend) and our children when they stay, I am single handed raising our youngest daughter.

I am finding him calling me this really stirs up a mix of emotions as it looks like he’s trying to be my mate despite all that he’s caused. He is always telling me on the phone how much he cares for me still and wants to help, despite not paying enough child maintenance etc and leaving me homeless. So can I ask him to stop calling me this shortened version of my name or is this petty and damaging?

What a bastard. Do you think he's deliberately doing it to exercise power over you?

Yes you can .

Yes you can, he sounds an absolute wanker. And you sound like an amazing mother and woman.

You can ask, but then he potentially gets the power of ignoring you and calling you it anyway. I'd just suck it up as annoying as it is.

Yes.

And you sound like a sensible woman and a wonderful, strong mother.

Yes, I think it probably best not to let him know this annoys you. Do not give this fucker any power, no matter how small.

I ignore it. Drives me mad, but I’d never let him know it needles me.

What I’ve learned from leaving an abusive man, is to NEVER let him know what irks me. You’re basically handing them the blueprint for how to treat you, and if anything he will only ramp it up.

Stop his access to you. Only communicate with him by a parenting app, no phone calls or texts, just documented exchanges regarding child contact.

The nickname is a small part of the problem. Maybe it’s time for a parenting app. Bastard.

' My friends call me _'

I have the opposite problem, instead of using my nicknames he started using my legal name. When that didn't work he now calls me Miss BookArt55. Then when he wants to try and something out of me he reverts back to the name everyone calls me.
I agree with above, you can, he will probably ignore you and then keep doing it as a form of control.

I wouldn’t ask because if he knows it irks you then he’ll probably keep doing it. When ex left me for OW, I immediately stopped calling her by her nickname (something like “Nicky” for “Nicola”). Before we were together we’d known each other at work, where I and everyone else called her “Nicola”. When we were together I called her “Nicky”, as did most of her friends. For me reverting to the full name was an important re-drawing of a boundary. She hated it and asked me not to but I kept using her full name and still do. She’s not my friend any more, she’s just my ex-wife who cheated on me and broke my heart. She doesn’t get to decide what I call her.

You can ask him, but will he continue to call you by this name just to piss you off even more? Some people are horrid and will use this as a stick to further beat you with. Personally, I’d not mention it and try to ignore it.