I've been divorced from my sons dad for just over 4 years.
We hadn't been happy for a long time and as my therapist puts it it was emotional abuse. He used our son as a weapon to get his own way, knocked my confidence and made me believe I was a rubbish parent. In the end he met someone else and the night he declared we were over actually thought I'd allow him to stay in my house and we go about seeing other people (really was my house as connected with my employment). For some reason I plucked up the courage to call a taxi for him (his parents) and proudly said goodbye and I was filling for a divorce.
He quickly got with some else who was much younger then him and me. She took charge of my parenting and what's right and wrong etc and was actually abusive towards me with him egging her on. She has since split from him after finding out what he's like and even messaged after but I said I didn't want to get involved.
I've been in my new relationship for nearly 2.5 years and he's brilliant. He has children with someone else and he treat my son as well as his own. He's calm, patient and makes all of us feel loved and cared for. After a long time of emotional abuse it's been a breath of fresh air. He's encouraged me to get back into my hobbies, speak to a therapist and will advise and support all of us without an judgment. He makes me feel like a good mum and even when I'm out of energy and just need a break he's there right beside me.
My sons father tho is hell bent on making things as l difficult as possible. He was not declaring his earning so cms has just caught up with him, he's just been banned from driving for being stupidly over the limit. The cushy job he would try and rub into my face he's lost as it was there vehicle he smashed up whilst being over the limit.
He sent me so much a abuse this week for stating my concerns over him taking our son away this Easter that I've blocked him. His parents were going to have our son this Easter as we were going to go away for a couple of nights. His mum however declared she won't have my son now as I've lied to cms which is why he has to pay so much maintenance.
I havnt lied at all so I sent her a copy of all the documents from cms and we are now taking my son with us (he's very excited).
Will this ever stop with his dad? His mum behaved appallingly and I'm glad I had the paperwork to show her that her son is lying to her.
I've done everything that man has asked and all I want is a happy, quiet, drama free life. I waved my rights legally and morally just to get away. He's like a bomberang that knocks me for six everytime I'm stood up on my feet. Trying to give my son a happy home, boundaries, rules, fun and memories and everytime time he crushes that. Does not turn up and it's me left explaining to our son and also my work, caught my son punching his game (daddy does it), daddy swears, daddy let's me stay up late bla bla bla
Our son idealise his dad but I get the impression that's because he only sees him two nights a month and he isn't so strict.
He's not reliable, he's inconsistent, a very good liar and a bad role model. I caught my son swearing the other day and asked him where he'd learnt that 'daddy' I said that's naughty to swear and you should say things like that as it can hurt other people's feeling. Daddy moans at me for running him down to our son.
I can't make this stop and not sure I can hold out long enough for our son to make his own mind up
Please I just want to go away