Low income ‘kept’ wife advice

[Sofia45]

I was wondering where on earth I start with getting some divorce advice: my husband is the breadwinner, has always paid all of the bills since we’ve been together (15yrs) I do work however it’s 2 days per week minimum wage and I keep my wage for bits and bobs. We have two lovely girls, a 1 year old and a 12 year old. This is an unknown to me I’ve always been pretty sheltered, I’ve no access to his bank accounts I’ve no idea what he earns (self employed). Is there anywhere I can get free advice, I have heard something about a free 30 minutes? He’s unaware I will be seeking that advice as we are still together. We’re existing, he 100% doesn’t love me any more I just feel he’s staying because he doesn’t want me to have anything of his and there’s no disadvantage to him I’m his live in housekeeper and nanny. we are selling our home at the moment that I know has quite a large amount of equity is he staying with me until after that I can’t have any of it? It’s dead in the water basically I just am clueless, if he starts to hide things I’ll have nothing should I leave. Not even a car

If you can’t pay for a solicitor you will have to do most of it yourself so you’ll need to get clued up and start googling. There us a lot of information out there.

youre entitled to a fair share of assets and that will depend on many factors.

ultimately its unlikely you’ll get long term spousal if at all so you need to think how you will support yourself going forward with just cms ( and with self employed this may be hard to get if he wants yo be difficult)
you’ll be expected to support yourself through full time work or pt + uc top ups.

get reading and educate yourself on the process

IME the free 30 minute chat was just to take the names ages and details of everyone involved. I got zero advice. Someone I knew on twitter helped me! I too felt I had no power or say. You’re entitled to a lot more than he’ll say.

Thank you! I’m sure I will be, it’s just getting all of the info! Wish me luck

I imagine you need to stop the sale or for the money to be held by a 3rd party eg a solicitor. Are you on the deeds? If not you can register your right to live there with the Land Registry. If you were buying straight away then it wouldn’t matter you weren’t on deeds as you are married but if he just has the cash he could find ways to hide it. You need to act fast. Also put your info through an online benefits calculator to see what you would be entitled to. I’d suggest posting on the legal board as there will be lawyers on there who may be able to give advice.

When you divorce, you need to each declare your assets. It’s unlikely he will be able to hide the money from the sale of the house because there’s a paper trail be bank statements. But he could spend it. Do you think there’s a possibility he’s thinking of separation too?

I have personally met with 4 different solicitors for free and follow the legal queen on Instagram. Education is power. I know my rights.
You can complete your details on the universal credit calculator and claim child benifit.
If you (not combined savings) have less than £5000 savings you can get help with the £600 divorce fee or may get it for free.
You can claim universal credit now, while separating but still living together.

My solicitor in the north of England has quoted £2000-£3000 for divorce and financial agreement.
Husband and I will both have to show a year of bank statements, pension ect. We will both get to see each other's.

If husband will not comply or no agreement can be made. It will go to court 3 visits maximum. Cost likely £15000. This would come out of sale of house.

Hope some of the above is helpful.

Just want to echo the sentiment here to act quickly and get your own separate legsl advice before you sign any document regarding sale of the house to ensure the funds are held somewhere easily equally accessible to you.

He hasn't been paying the bills for you - you both have joint income as you are married and you contribute to your partnership by caring for children and managing household in addition to your paid work. You have taken on the financial risk of not working full time and this enables him to enjoy the benefits of earning capacity, plus family life at the expense of your financial safety.

This is all so helpful thank you so much!

Is the current house in his name? Can you legally stop the sale?
As mentioned it will be easier to see and therefore divide assets that are not liquid