Q re legal fees

NeedHandHoldThroughThis · 2025-04-13T09:28:14+00:00

I’m finally divorcing, after two decades of being a doormat to my not working pot smoking husband. In a turn of events that will surprise no one, he now wants to split everything 50/50 (we have no children, and he’s never contributed financially). I find this outrageous and I’m toying with the idea of letting the courts decide, which I know will cost a ton but I’m just so fed up of being taken advantage of. The assets that need splitting are the value of the house I bought and some savings, there’s no investments or pensions to speak of. My question is: Say that the total value of the assets to split is £500k and the legal costs amount to £50k, and a judge really tells me to give him half of the pot which is £250k (worst case scenario imo), will the £50k legal fee come out of the pot? Meaning he’ll get 500-50=450/2=225? Or will I be expected to give him 250 and then find another 50 to pay the legal fees with, given that he has no income? I know it’s crazy to consider this and I don’t need to be talked out of it, please just humour me with this hypothetical scenario. Thanks!

LemonTT · 13/04/2025 10:57

There are exceptions but you will have individual legal expenses which you will be expected to pay as individuals. How you do that is up to you. Some people pay for them from their personal income, some put them on zero interest credit cards and pay this off from the settlement, some take out loans and some come to agreement that it is paid from the settlement.

So basically if you instruct a solicitor the full cost of that solicitor will come from you share of the settlement. He may decide not to instruct a solicitor because he is confident he will get at least 50% of the marital assets which he jointly owns with you. From the limited information you provided he is solid ground to just show up and pitch that point.

The assets aren’t yours. They are marital assets. When you married they became shared assets. It doesn’t matter whose name they are in or who paid for them. You aren’t giving them to him.

In the scenario above you would go to court and get maximum £250k from which you would deduct £50k in legal costs. He could not bother with representation and get £250k and have minimal deductions.

I am not being mean but in his shoes I wouldn’t pay someone to argue against your reasons for not splitting joint assets. UK divorces tend to favour the weaker party, lower earner. If you are better off and can get 50% you are risking getting less by going to court. 50% isn’t the worst case scenario for stronger/ higher earning parties.

Why do you think you would get more than 50% in court? Other than thinking it is outrageous do you have any legal grounds for this ambition.

UnemployedNotRetired · 13/04/2025 11:11

After two decades of marriage with no kids, it's going to be hard to argue against 50/50. Do take legal advice, but there's certainly an argument that you should just get him to agree to 50/50 and be done with it ... otherwise he might find he's able to argue for more, for spousal maintenance, to drag things out ...

millymollymoomoo · 13/04/2025 11:26

It will be 50:50 so I’d save on the legal fees and not waste them tbh

millymollymoomoo · 13/04/2025 11:29

And yes you’ll pay your own fees

so on your scenario the pot is 500k. He’ll get 250k then you pay your fees out of your share ( or income ) and so will he. So if you rack up 50k fighting a losing battle and he spends 1k that 50k is your debt alone

BeerAndMusic · 13/04/2025 16:46

Thats the way it goes - I put in far more in my marriage and ended up with 50/50.

Original poster

NeedHandHoldThroughThis · 16/04/2025 21:55

LemonTT · 13/04/2025 10:57

There are exceptions but you will have individual legal expenses which you will be expected to pay as individuals. How you do that is up to you. Some people pay for them from their personal income, some put them on zero interest credit cards and pay this off from the settlement, some take out loans and some come to agreement that it is paid from the settlement.

So basically if you instruct a solicitor the full cost of that solicitor will come from you share of the settlement. He may decide not to instruct a solicitor because he is confident he will get at least 50% of the marital assets which he jointly owns with you. From the limited information you provided he is solid ground to just show up and pitch that point.

The assets aren’t yours. They are marital assets. When you married they became shared assets. It doesn’t matter whose name they are in or who paid for them. You aren’t giving them to him.

In the scenario above you would go to court and get maximum £250k from which you would deduct £50k in legal costs. He could not bother with representation and get £250k and have minimal deductions.

I am not being mean but in his shoes I wouldn’t pay someone to argue against your reasons for not splitting joint assets. UK divorces tend to favour the weaker party, lower earner. If you are better off and can get 50% you are risking getting less by going to court. 50% isn’t the worst case scenario for stronger/ higher earning parties.

Why do you think you would get more than 50% in court? Other than thinking it is outrageous do you have any legal grounds for this ambition.

I never needed nor wanted a SAH husband (tiny flat, no children no pets), I made clear several times throughout the marriage that I was unhappy that he’d spend the days doing the bare minimum at home, while smoking weed and having three naps a day.
He always said he would find a job but never did, and one day all of a sudden it was nearly 20 years later and it finally dawned on me that it would never happen. So I started the ball rolling with the divorce and here we are, I’m expected to hand him over half of everything I’ve worked so hard for. It just feels very unfair.
Thank you for taking the time to answer.

OP posts:

User46576 · 18/04/2025 00:59

NeedHandHoldThroughThis · 16/04/2025 21:55

I never needed nor wanted a SAH husband (tiny flat, no children no pets), I made clear several times throughout the marriage that I was unhappy that he’d spend the days doing the bare minimum at home, while smoking weed and having three naps a day.
He always said he would find a job but never did, and one day all of a sudden it was nearly 20 years later and it finally dawned on me that it would never happen. So I started the ball rolling with the divorce and here we are, I’m expected to hand him over half of everything I’ve worked so hard for. It just feels very unfair.
Thank you for taking the time to answer.

Show quote history

I bet many men feel the same way. I say that as a fellow woman with a feckless (male) ex partner who never pulled his weight financially. At least I didn’t marry him