Relocating if ex wants 50:50

[MagicNL]

Can my ex husband prevent me from relocating? In emails he’s said he will block me. In reality I think he is trying to control me.

context…
primary school aged child.
he had affair. I found out. I kicked him out. Child has been with me full time ever since. Child sees dad every fortnight (when it suits him). I live where I currently do for work. I find it hard because I don’t have a network. My job was steady but I’m now going through redundancy so it seems the right time to relocate.
my ex said he wanted to do 50/50 but never has done as he currently lives an hour away. He’s saying I need to sell the house so he can move nearer to his child but he doesn’t know I want to move.

any tips?
I’m at end of divorce just about to start financial order annd child arrangement order.

How far away do you want to move?

How would moving change life for your child? Eg grandparents do pick ups and holidays

Will you own or rent your house? (Stability)

How old is the child?

saying he wants 50/50 but not having done it so far, the court will take it into account. How much holiday time? Picks ups etc does he do? Or has offered to do?

realistically an active father doing every other weekend and a night in the week, mum wanting to relocate 300 miles for a promotion with no contacts in new area - no or for a new partner - no.

A father doing every other weekend and Mum having no work and being offered a job 1 hour and 45 minutes away and in a local place to her parents and family and good local schools and offered to do the drive at least half way for pick up and drop offs - yes probably.

You need offers in writing and his thoughts.

You can’t just move either, you need to apply to move before you go.

Depends how far you’re thinking of moving & bigger picture but yes, he could prevent you from relocating.

for 2 yrs since separation ex has lived one hour from me. He’s now saying he’s moving back to the area but I want to move.

i want to relocate 1hr 15min away
for better schools, family, increased opportunities and a network. I’m also wanting to move from a city to a rural area with less knife crime.

He can’t stop you but a court could. He’d have to apply for a probities steps order.

on the information you gave provided it would unlikely be approved however, if he doesn’t agree you could see him make an application

I say agree with him that the house needs to be sold and that WHEN it is then you have the money to look around at a property yourself. Tell him nothing of your plans and if you have not gotten a deposit on another property the judge cannot tell you not to move as they cannot force a decision from you. Just tell him you are aware it could take months or years to sell and you want to know yo have the finances to buy again when the sale is through.

What does your child want? Do they want to see their dad more often given the opportunity? Would they be happy moving away from friends and changing schools?

I think you need his permission to change schools, if he is named on the birth certifucate.

OP, my ex insisted he wanted 50:50 (to avoid paying CMS I think), I wanted to move home - 85 mins away - with ds.

I left ds with ex for one weekend, from early on Good Friday to Easter Monday, Ex found he had to get up in the night, change nappies, couldn't play tennis or go to the pub. Had to cook & prep

After that weekend, 50:50 wasn't mentioned again 😁

I moved home. Ex travels to see ds once a week.

OP - you need to be smart here. Moving 1hr someway is not really a relocation. So - keep going with the financial arrangements - put the house on the market, etc. Presumably ex won't be able to buy anything/move before it all goes through. Try to finish financial arrangements before you sell. So that your new purchase is not dictated by the court.

Keep documenting the contact EX has with the child - frequency/what they do. When he cancels. etc. You may need this IF he decides to take you to court over child arrangements. He probably won't, but in case