Forcing Child Maintenance Payments from estanged husband living in the EU

[ej8888]

In case anyone needs to know, or has any extra advice, I am a single mum of 1 who had to leave her abusive husband in the EU (he is British) and come back to England with nothing. He sits on the house, refusing to sell it and therefore I am joint owner with an investment property in the eyes of the DWP. I get no universal credit or housing benefit. I must work or be homeless and he hasn't paid child maintence for over 3 years. Steady work has not been easy to find for an older woman with child responsibilties. I have discovered that there is a REMO agreement which menas that many countries will find your partner and force payment through the MEBC. Most soliciotors don't tell you this because it's cutting down their business, but a kindly one told me as she knew I couldn't afford a solicitor. Here is the information: https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-if-one-parent-lives-abroad/other-partner-lives-abroad

What’s happening with your divorce as that’s the only way to solve the assets/house issue

This isn't a secret,... but UK child maintenance seems to be a lot more lenient on parents, who don't want to pay.
My ex is British but we are still living abroad (EU) and so is he. Whether he moves back to the UK or not isn't as relevant. He'll still be liable for CM. The government here will step in to fund the advance, if needed. They'll then get it back from him. Have you checked the rules in the country he is living in?

Also, are you officially divorced? I'm the one left in the house but a sale could be forced, if we don't come to an agreement. It doesn't work here, that people keep financial ties after a divorce. Again, check the rules in the country. Generally, he'll either need to buy you out or you need to sell.

International divorce is tricky. You could really do with a good solicitor. (I'd get funding for that here, if I didn't earn enough.)

I'm sorry, this is my first post on mumsnet and I couldn't work out how to reply from my phone. I have spoken to solicitors, I can do a no fault divorce through Gov.uk, but I can't afford to get a soliciotor to do the financial settlement and my estranged husband won't cooperate, so I have come to the conclusion that it's not worth startin the dicorce until I can work out how to do the financial settlement. Solicitors have given me some free advice, but they all say differnt things nad it's unhelpful. It seems that whether I'm separated or divirced there's no difference - as a half owner of a foreign "investment property", I qualify for no Universal credit. no housing benefit and no legal aid. They have instituional mysogynost policies that totally cut me and my son out of the picture.

. I have spoken to solicitors, I can do a no fault divorce through Gov.uk, but I can't afford to get a soliciotor to do the financial settlement and my estranged husband won't cooperate, so I have come to the conclusion that it's not worth startin the dicorce until I can work out how to do the financial settlement. Solicitors have given me some free advice, but they all say differnt things nad it's unhelpful. It seems that whether I'm separated or divirced there's no difference - as a half owner of a foreign "investment property", I qualify for no Universal credit. no housing benefit and no legal aid. They have instituional mysogynost policies that totally cut me and my son out of the picture. I can't really undderstand what you're saying, and I don't get it, sorry.and it may as well be a secret if you're totally cut off from benefits. My CAB didn't know about the REMO agreement and the MEBC, neither did most of the solicitors I spoke to (or they didn't let on).

Well, the idea that it doesn't matter whether you are separated or divorced might be a British thing. I don't know. I know there's a clear difference where we live.

What I mean is, go and check out the laws regarding divorce in the country you and your husband have been living in. It's often possible to get that country's laws applied to a divorce since both of you still have ties to the country (I.e. property). This might be easier than trying to divorce him using UK law. However, yes, you need a solicitor. Preferably an experienced one, who knows what they are talking about. You could also employ a local solicitor.
If your husband isn't playing ball, then just complaining won't cut it. Yes, a solicitor costs money, but you'd most likely end up with half the equity of the house and a solid child maintenance agreement.

We are in the EU. We are divorcing according to the laws here, since both of us still live here. I've never tried to have "free" sessions with a solicitor. I don't think that's a thing here. I have a solicitor, who is experienced and specialises in family law, though. I'm fully expecting a huge bill at the end of this. However, if I didn't earn well, I could apply for financial aid. Again, check the rules in the country your husband still resides in. This might be an option for you if you go down that route.

I knew about the possibility to have my ex prosecuted for non-payment of child support (even if he went back to the UK) by reading up on it online before I even saw my solicitor. However, I'm in a country where the government would advance the child support and then get it back from the non-paying parent, if I really couldn't sort it myself.

Literally can't afford a soliciotor and 'get it back later'
I am totally cut off from all legal aid, Husband refusing to sell the property we own means that I have a foreign investment property worth over 16 000 and therefore get nothing, nothing at all. No one wants to help. Institutionalised misogyny. Would not necessarily trust Portuguese divorce law over British, even if I had the money. Very sceptical of any pro bono lawyers who can turn around and say that my husband's evasive behaviour has ended up causing 80 000 legal bill. Once you instract a solicitor they will not stop until they reach their goal even if they break you financially.
Good luck to you, since you have reserves I don't have.