Surprise, surprise…he’s not acknowledged the divorce application on time

[trailblazer42]

I don’t know if I really expected anything else but he didn’t acknowledge it by the deadline. So now I need to ask him to do it or pay £170 to get it through the court as I have a WhatsApp from him confirming receipt so he can’t dispute it.

Why he thinks he can take on the legal system, I don’t know. As if I really needed more evidence of his emotional abuse…

Anyone else had to go down this route?

Yes I did. Didn’t sign things, just ignored things, that sort of shit. I kept at it and got there in the end. Ex is a twat who just wanted to make life difficult - despite cheating and not wanting to be married to me anymore… You’ll get it sorted op - all the sweeter when finally done.

You know, I was in a similar situation.
We agreed to divorce—the marriage was awful. Fights, fights, and nothing but fights. But when I finally brought up the idea of divorce, he agreed so quickly. It honestly shocked me, because before that, he must’ve said a thousand times that the only thing that would end our marriage was “one of us dying.” I filled out the paperwork on printabledivorce.com and made sure it was served to him properly, following all the legal requirements. But he never responded.
And you know what? It didn’t even hurt. In my state (Maine), I don’t need his response. As long as the papers were served correctly, the divorce moves forward either way—it’s just a little slower without his cooperation.

Still, I’m convinced that was his final little "f* you" to me. What an idiot.

My ex would scrawl obscenities all over the divorce paperwork he was sent and return it to the solicitors. I assume he thought it would cost me money, which it didn't. It was all just more evidence of his abuse. It was frustrating because it meant I had to wait the 3-year period until I could divorce him without his consent. I got there in the end and glad to be shot of him.

He'd better scratch all this on his forehead so other women know exactly who they're dealing with.

I messaged him the following morning saying that I'd had notification he hadn't done it, and that if he still hadn't responded after a week I would be applying to the court to process it at a cost (money has always been a big trigger point in our relationship so I hoped the thought of it costing us would push him).

He replied almost immediately saying he thought it was the 5th and not the 2nd, and that he would do it that night (plus the 'it's all unnecessary' comments I always get).

Six days on he still hasn't done it, but I did get sent the song lyrics to 'We've only just begun' on Sunday...

I have clear evidence he knows about the application and has received the email so if he hasn't done it by tomorrow morning I'll apply to the courts. I hate that he can still control this process, but at least there is a process I can fall back on now.

Mine did the same thing, and was also stupid enough to send me an email saying he had received the application and didn't agree with what was in it. This was before no fault came in, so I had gone with unreasonable behaviour, fitting for an abusive alcoholic.

I sent him a polite text pointing out that he had given me proof that he had received and read the petition, and that I would follow up with the court. He caved and signed. Men.

11pm last night and he acknowledged it…such a relief to finally get the process underway but shows me how things are likely to go on the way to the end.

At least you know now how he’ll behave, that gives you power.

Maybe triggering the court process would be better anyway - as you can do - as he clearly intends on being an ar5e

My ex was awful. Dragged it all the way to Final Hearing. He missed Court dates, didn't submit paperwork, changed solicitors half way through then decided to self rep, I had to use Court Bailiffs to serve his papers etc. He thought he could bluff, coerce and manipulate his way through, and behave as he had in the marriage.

He got his come uppance though. The cherry on top for me was the Decree Absolute came through on April 1st! It took five years to get and arrived on April Fool's Day. 🤣

Wow @unsync what a slog! I am really hoping he won't be that unreasonable...he's an intelligent man and whilst he has been constantly emotionally manipulative since I said I wanted this to end, he knows there is no point in making it difficult. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that this was his last flurry...

Sadly my first husband took the entire thing through the courts. A kind of scorched earth policy. I had legal aid. He didn't.
The judge was so pissed off with him in the end he banned him from seeing DS until he was 18 and gave me a long injunction.
All it got him was losing his house in legal fees. I had my own house.
He never paid child support either, just gave up his job. Now he's late 60s and he has nothing. Pathetic really.

@trailblazer42 If he's only started since the divorce, hopefully he'll see sense. I think my ex's behaviour was deeply entrenched. He didn't admit his faults, didn't like losing and never took responsibility for anything. He also didn't like losing the control he'd had throughout the marriage. On the upside, when it's all done and dusted, you do really appreciate the freedom and life is good now.