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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Property ownership

18 replies

Catandtortoise · 02/04/2025 23:32

Our home is jointly owned by my parents (50%), my husband (25%) and myself (25%).
it’s been in my family since my dad was born. My parents have owned it for 40 years. My nan lived here til she died. Then we sold our old place and moved in and renovated the house, using profit from sale of our old place. My parents then changed the ownership to the above percentages, mainly to keep my husband happy, incase we split up he had something to show for the money we put into the house. (£19,000).
3 months ago I told him we were over and asked him to move. He is refusing to go and demanding money. I have not got money or access to money. He’s expecting my parents to pay him off. They can’t/ won’t and I’m not asking or expecting them to.
can we be forced to sell to get him out? Or how do I get him to go? We have 2 children .

OP posts:
YourSnugHazelTraybake · 02/04/2025 23:55

you need to get legal advice op but broadly speaking yes, if neither you nor your parents can raise money to buy him out then the house will have to be sold. It'll form part of your divorce settlement though, so depending if there are any other assets such as pensions or savings you might be able to negotiate a trade off between those and his equity in the house.

millymollymoomoo · 03/04/2025 15:33

His and your share make up part of your joint Marital assets therefore he may be due some settlement.

That will depend on your overall assets, incomes, and needs and not be the 25% share value of current equity - it could be more less than that.

you should seek legal advice but it’s likely he’s owed some money from the house yes. You also can’t force him out as he has as much right to live there as you do

notatinydancer · 03/04/2025 17:10

Of course he’s entitled to a share , he owns 25%.
Did you think he’d just go ?
Does he have a pension? Maybe you could agree to not claim that.

Original poster
Catandtortoise · 03/04/2025 23:48

I’ve never said or expected him to leave with nothing. he thinks if he goes without getting money that we will screw him over. Which we wouldn’t. I do see it from his point of view, but more importantly, my priority is my children and their happiness and the security of their home.
From what I’ve been told by a solicitor, the kids have the right to live here until they’re 18 or leave education.
it’s just everything my parents have worked for their whole lives could be lost, because out of the kindness of their hearts, they put some of the house in his name. It’s destroying them at the moment.

OP posts:
BeerAndMusic · 04/04/2025 00:59

Catandtortoise · 03/04/2025 23:48

I’ve never said or expected him to leave with nothing. he thinks if he goes without getting money that we will screw him over. Which we wouldn’t. I do see it from his point of view, but more importantly, my priority is my children and their happiness and the security of their home.
From what I’ve been told by a solicitor, the kids have the right to live here until they’re 18 or leave education.
it’s just everything my parents have worked for their whole lives could be lost, because out of the kindness of their hearts, they put some of the house in his name. It’s destroying them at the moment.

That is rubbish! The kids do not have a right to live there.

Also, only a fool would move out without getting the cash. Luckily things moved fast for me, around 10 weeks from split to remortgage and sorted out a deal between us, that day she got her money she moved out.

You have 4 options -

raise the money from somewhere (remortgage?) and pay him off.

stay living together

he buys you and your parents stake and stays (you go)

you sell and split the money accordingly.

Obviously there may be other things like savings, pensions etc... but in principle he would be due 25% of the equity in the house

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 04/04/2025 04:34

My parents then changed the ownership to the above percentages, mainly to keep my husband happy, incase we split up he had something to show for the money we put into the house. (£19,000)

Well what did you all expect to happen after doing that? Your parents did it just in case you spilt up and here you are.

Do you have any other assets that you can offset against it?

From what I’ve been told by a solicitor, the kids have the right to live here until they’re 18 or leave education

I'd be looking for a new solicitor if that's what you were told as it isn't true

Elunajeya · 04/04/2025 05:25

What were you thinking he would do? Leave, with the promise he’ll get money some day?

This is why owning with family is an issue; you should have seen a solicitor at the time.

He’ll need to be bought out, or the house sold, for his 25%, realistically. You won’t get to stay there until the kids are 18 if the house needs to be sold.

DenholmElliot11 · 04/04/2025 06:08

You need to give him his money somehow. He's going to need it to re-house himself anyway isn't he?

Sprogonthetyne · 04/04/2025 07:00

The 50% you and ex own between you is a marital asset and will need to be split, along with anything else you both own. Add up the value of everything, then work out who gets what. The starting point is 50:50, but you could possibly push for a bigger share if you've sacrificed your earning potential to suport his career or if you are going to be the kids main carer and need a bigger share to meet their needs (you'll need a solicitor to advise if this is likely for your situation).

If there's other assets like pensions or savings, you could negotiate that he keeps more/all of these, while you keep the house equally, but it depends what else is in the pot. If not, you may need to take out a loan or remortgage to buy him out.

millymollymoomoo · 04/04/2025 07:59

There is no right of the children to remain there till they’re 18 or leave education. Many many families sell because the money isn’t available to allow that! Courts order the fmh to be sold all the time!

he’s doing what is advised - not leaving the marital home until financial settlement is resolved. What’s your proposal to him regarding split if all assets?

Original poster
Catandtortoise · 04/04/2025 08:05

We’re not totally stupid, we did speak to solicitors when transferring ownership. Not sure I really like how some of the comments are coming across.
si thanks mumsnet but no thanks

OP posts:
StartAnew · 04/04/2025 08:06

Sorry your parents are upset but this is exactly what they chose to do, to allow your husband to take money from the house and for him to be able to force a sale if buying him out was not possible.
Perhaps they believed it would never happen.
You need legal advice and to keep things polite and constructive whilst agreeing a solution. Good luck.

JohnofWessex · 04/04/2025 08:12

As a joint owner he has the right to occupy the house unless excluded by a Court Order.

My solicitor tended to recommend that when splitting up that his clients didnt move out.

But yes you need legal advice

millymollymoomoo · 04/04/2025 08:33

People are simply disagreeing with your views but you don’t like it.

the facts are

you are married
you have assets to share totalling 50% of the house plus any others
its his home as well as yours
he has equal rights to remain as you
you don’t have a right to remain until children are 18- if that can be achieved by settling his overall financial settlement that’s good, if not, courts will order a sale.

simply expecting him to leave is unfair

you need to work to achieve a settlement of all assets. He needs somewhere to live that allows children to stay too.

so, what’s your proposal to him? You’ll need to negotiate and make offers. Or you’ll end up in court

Frazzled54 · 04/04/2025 12:56

OP… do you have pensions? You need to get CETV values for them. Also get 3 valuations of the house and work out how much equity he would get for his 25%
You may be able to ‘offset’ some or all of the amount if he’s got a bigger pension than you.
Or you may have to raise a mortgage between you and you parents to give him the payout.

The courts always look at a needs basis so they will take his housing needs into account.
If he’s not offering proper 50/50 childcare then he will also need to pay child maintenance which could be another bargaining tool… you agree no CM in exchange for a smaller lump of money from the house.
You need to get advice. Your solicitor telling you you could keep the house isn’t correct. It’s called a Mesher Order and they aren’t really given out now as courts like a ‘clean break’ for couples.

millymollymoomoo · 04/04/2025 16:26

You can’t agree no cms for less payout, as courts don’t have jurisdiction over that after 12 months so regardless of what’s agreed cms will simply assess on salary and nights.

Meshers are still given in some occasions, usually as a last resort when there is no alternative, or children are in midst of GCSEs etc and it’s short term. But they are increasingly rare yes and there’s no automatic right to remain in the house until kids are 18!

Minnie798 · 04/04/2025 16:39

The best way to get him to go is to agree to give him his share. As the home has been in the family 40 years, I assume that there is no mortgage. So a small mortgage could be arranged to give him his money. A solicitor will best advise you, as obviously you need to ensure a clean financial break. Pensions/ savings etc also need to be considered. Gather all the financial information in the first instance.

QuillBill · 04/04/2025 17:35

Yes, you can be forced to sell as he needs to have the 25% value of the property. He has to have somewhere for his children to live just as much as you do.

Your solicitor sounds a bit shit, telling you that.

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