To settle or stand firm for longer or court….

[AmplePinkBear]

Separated with my stbxh at new year.
he’s very angry at me for initiating the separation despite their being plenty justification for me to do so.
I have always been the primary parent and worked part time to support this and has progressed his career whilst this has been the case. My husband works full time.

He used to always pay slightly more to the bills as he earned more. Likely 3/5 him and 2/5 me.
He now wants the bills to be split 50/50 despite there being no change in the current financial situation .
The mortgage on our house will end in a couple months and he wants us to sell asap.
when this happens and we go on to the variable rate I simply do not have enough income to pay half of all the bills.

We have started financial negotiations but he is saying 50/50 of the house equity (which is all we have) despite me being in a much weaker position to buy somewhere else after working part time for our family. He is also saying he won’t give me the portion of his pension I am owed out the equity in the house but rather will insist it as a pension transfer.
If i accept these financial terms I essentially can’t afford to keep my children in the town we are currently in due to the house prices. I really don’t want to take them away from their friends and school though.

im very aware though the longer this drags on the more we will be in mortgage payments due to the fixed rate expiring and in solicitors fees.

Anyone any insights? Advice? Real life experience of how this turned out for them?

There isn’t enough information in your post.

we need to know what your relative incomes are. That’s the net income your each receive after deductions and including any potential other income like benefits. Do you both work full time, if not can you.

What is the cost of a home in the local area and how much would you each have as deposit after equity is split.

what is the value of the pension and how has it been valued.

You really would benefit from mediation.

How old are the children? Realistically were you ever going to have A job/career that earnt the same as or more than his if you hadn’t gone PT? Can’t you go full time?

My advice would have been to not separate until you were prepared to truly separate.

Since that moment has passed, my advice is to get into full-time work as quickly as possible. Establish a split of shared responsibility for the children on weekdays so that you are able to work and earn to support yourself and your children.

The amount he will be required to pay in child maintenance is a shockingly low percentage of his earnings given the expense of child care and the opportunity cost of missed work from being available to do drop-offs, pickups, and cover random off days. you will likely be better off if he actually does his share of the work of taking care of his children.

You’ll need to assess the assets available and pensions are not valued £1-£1 with equity. He’ll also need some liquid assets. You’ll be assessed on your earning potential full time not your current part time. Whay are you not now going full time ?

it always surprises me that people separate but then expect their ex to simply keep paying. Where is he living now? He’ll have his own expenses and needs for housing and living, selling and splitting lines may be the outcome

youll need legal advice and mediation will be a good start to figure out what a settlement might look like.

I would ensure you live entirely separately within the house and start claiming for benefits as a single parent, presumably the child benefit is in your name?

If he insists on 50:50 then start your CMS claim.

Book mediation and accept you will end up in court as he isn’t going to be reasonable is he?

Nothing here suggests op will be either. Who knows. No one here that’s for sure

op should seek legal advice and start the process of settlement properly

if op puts in cms claim now he may well reduce payments elsewhere