Going through a divorce

[silva27]

Hi all, going through a divorce and seeing solicitor in the next 2 weeks.

We been living together for 17years married for 9 years. We have 2 kids 8y and 2y. Long story short I caught him cheating a year ago, tried to make it work and caught him cheating again now filing for a divorce.

I quit my full time job 5 years ago to raise kids, he is a high earner and pays mortgage and bills. I work part time from home around kids school, pay for childcare for little one, my expenses and if any left add on groceries.

We are trying to discuss finances friendly, he insists we sell the house (since he can’t pay for all and have his place )and split potentially 120k. He earns 8k a month net, house bills plus mortgage he says adds to 5k.

Because little one is only 2y I can’t see myself getting back to full time employment till he reaches school age at 5y so even if I get some money from the house I won’t be able to get another mortgage for another 4/5y

Has anyone gone through something similar. I don’t want to fight with hubby but I don’t want to see my kids getting the short end of the stick because father can’t keep his d* in his pants.

I will seek legal advice but would like to hear if anyone gone through something similar. What was the outcome.

Hi OP. Unfortunately you’ll have to return to work - you won’t have the luxury of staying at home. Courts starting point is 50/50. I’m a really high earner, earning 4 x my ex husband salary and that’s how all the assets were split. Granted we didn’t have small children but I know that won’t get you that much more I’m afraid.

I would say 50/50. You will need to go back to work and have childcare I am guessing.

I did earn more than my ex, about 2x. Split everything 50/50 even though her decision (midlife crisis and couldn't keep legs shut), felt very short changed but cant see anything other than 50/50 other than exceptional circumstances

You don’t have to be able to get a mortgage - you’ll be able to rent somewhere presumably so your housing needs can be met that way.

As you work from home would you be able to increase those hours even if it was to have two longer days for example with some paid childcare to wrap around school/funded places?

Are you receiving UC to help with income if you are on a low income, and are you receiving maintenance? It’s completely reasonable for him not to have to fund a house he’s not living in regardless of his capacity to. Obviously not to see his kids out on the streets but sounds like you’ll have reasonable capital to use for rent if you need to.

I’d be surprised with a 50/50 split with a big difference in earnings.
(Also only 120K equity with an 8K montly net earning seems really little.)
OP, you’d need to work full-time most probably and you should speak to a solicitor.