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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Carry on or call it quits?

1 reply

Walesmam23 · 26/03/2025 14:02

Hi all

By way of background ExH and I are part way through divorce proceedings and having mediation for financial settlement.

ExH has been paying CM at the rate set by CMS (based on a figure he provided to them - not p60) since we split 3 years ago. During mediation it transpired this figure is lower than his p60 amount.

ExH sometimes carries out contractor work cash in hand and had agreed to pay a percentage of this to me as CM, he has done that twice in the last year.

During mediation it transpired that ExH has been earning at least 10k additional income in the last 6 months, none of which was disclosed to the mediator but became evident through transactions shown on his bank statements.

It was also clear that he has an additional bank account, which he hasn't disclosed, which relates to a business. He claims the account is now closed and he can't get access to the statements.

He hasn't submitted a self assessment so there is no way to check additional income with HMRC.

When I queried why he hadn't paid additional maintenance based on his contracting work as well as employment he said he was keeping it to pay debt accumulated in our marriage. We'd not had a discussion about this prior, and I also have debt, which I've been paying myself.

Prior to this we had agreed 50/50 pension split and child maintenance to me. His income is around 4 x mine (as declared, but in reality I have no idea). No other assets.

My question is this, do I bother keeping going? His attitude is he's not disclosing anything further, I've had 'enough' and if I keep fighting I'll end up with less. We have another mediation session booked but shall I even bother going? It's like he's made his mind up and nothing I do will make him disclose anything further. This whole thing has been awful, I'm so broken by it all.

So WWYD?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 26/03/2025 18:07

It may be less stressful to go with the CMS amount take the emotion out of it.

I would also report him for working cash in hand though, why are we paying NI & taxes when he isn’t?

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