Talk to me about telling the (older) DC

[Wolbutter]

My husband and I are separating. I want to try counselling, he doesn't.

The DC are 17 and 14 and every time I think about them I feel sick to my stomach. I really think they would have no idea anything is wrong, we appear really close (but have lost intimacy/ sex) and get on well

Pressed post too early! I meant to say does anyone have experience or advice for telling teenagers and supporting them

There’s no easy way. I think that it was helpful for my children to have some information, ie where would we each live etc. Tell them it’s not their fault and that you both still love them very much. They will have questions but probably not immediately, so give them the space and time to talk later on.

I told mine we'd split up and would be getting divorced. But it came about gradually as I expected it not to get that far and only one child lived at home. So they didn't find out at the same time, one was on an incredible holiday and I wasn't having that ruined for her. They knew if was his fault. They didn't ask why until a while later and one didn't know for six months. But they know everything now as they wanted to know. Was interesting when he told them a completely different story. They were all adults and that makes a difference.