How long did you get global maintenance for?

[Sarahd3342]

Hi,

As the title suggests please and how old were your children at the time? I have read here on mumsnet that spousal is only for a few years. At a recent FDR the judge indicated a global order for much longer than I thought so I am wondering if it really is unique.

Thanks.

It is quite rare, usually only for older people and where ex is very high earner

i don’t know anyone in rl who got this
I know a few who were awarded spousal or global for 5 years ish

will depend on your circumstances

If I hated Someone so much we divorced, the last thing I'd want to do is be living off them rather than be an independent adult!
CM all the way.
Spousal? Woman and earn your own money!

It's because our child is young, stbxh is a high earner, perhaps 3-4 X me but there is limited equity in the property otherwise I would gladly have taken a larger cut of that.

How high?
youre v unlikely to get long term
spousal, and the expectation will be you become financially independent especially with a young child.

id be v surprised if you got v long term spousal even less global tbh

Hypotheticals are easy, aren’t they…
Divorces happen for all kinds of reasons - and hating someone is not the only reason.

Marriage laws exist to protect the weaker party in the partnership - and women inevitably take on childcare duties that damage their earning capacity - either
in short term - or destroy it in the long term.

So - getting spousal maintenance is not ‘living off’ ex-spousal - it is a compensatory protection of the weaker party in the partnership. The higher earner is able to do his ‘big’ job because they did not have to take on home/child responsibilities.

This is how partnership works - share the load, share the rewards.

@Sarahd3342 - as you are younger, and with small children - and he is a high(er) earner, you may be able to get term limited spousal to help you get to independence.
They may think of the age when kids start secondary as the end of spousal, as this is when kids are considered to need less childcare.

@jsku such an outdated concept

most women I know who claim career sacrifices never had one to start with. All the professional ones including myself managed to do both child caring / raising and progress in a career and earnings.

yea their shoukd be cases where spousal is appropriate in the short term but in op case if child is young it’s likely op bot been out if workplace decades and will be expected to support herself. If op ex has materially high earner she may get some support for bit longer but decades unlikely

@millymollymoomoo - good for you
that you managed.
I didn’t - and most of my female friends from my class of a top US business school had to take a step back in our careers when we had kids. Men did not.

And it is not just the top careers we are talking about. It is well documented that women’s earning potential is damaged by having children. Both progression in ANY career, and being hired in general - is affected. Employees, when they have a choice - prefer to not hire someone who will be taking time off for kids illnesses, school events and holidays.

Your stance would work much better in Scandinavian societies - where parents are more equal in sharing of childcare, and where government provides a lot more childcare. Women there don’t have much claim for spousal.

But in the UK - with such limited early years nursery/kindergarten provision - someone has to do the childcare. And it is more likely to be the woman.

And, of course OP will be expected to support herself, I did not suggest she won’t.
But as her children are small - and until they are more independent after 11 - she may get some spousal maintenance that will allow her to work around kid’s childcare needs.

Unless the father takes a step back from his job and does his fair share of childcare - nursery drop-offs/pickups; covering kids sick periods and school holidays, etc

Well your experience is different from mine and all my friends and colleagues. All careers advanced even with young children and primary care roles.

and spousal support is unlikely to last until children are 11 ( unless they are 10 now).

it’s likely as said op will get a few years if her ex is a very high earner ( 150k plus pa)

My ex is a very high earner. We divorced when the children were 5, 2 and 2. The eldest has ASD and through our 9 year marriages I made 2 moves up and down the country, one move to Asia and one back again to support his career. He worked from 8am until late at night. It didn’t occur to me to claim spousal support.

I've never heard of anyone getting spousal maintenance. It's an old-fashioned concept dating back to when married women had to leave their jobs. It's not rarely given and if it is, it's just for a very short time to help the financially weaker partner "get on their feet". Global maintenance just means that child maintenance and spousal maintenance will be given in one payment. The spousal maintenance will end and the CM will continue if you are the resident parent.

It’s not unique. It’s just not a preferred option. First reason, it is better to get a clean break capital payment. That is cash in the hand that isn’t subject to whether or not your ex losses their ability to earn. It can be invested in property and made to work for you.

Second reason, spousal support impacts on means tested benefits. For most people every £ ins spousal losses them £ in UC. They would rather they money from the state than their ex. Who again could lose the ability to earn.

Finally people don’t want to live off their exes income or anyone’s income. Dependency on others can lead to a poverty trap. If you rely on someone else for 18 years then at the end of that time you are older and still not able to earn. But much less employable.

It’s usually the worst option for people.

@Sarahd3342

I am not sure why people on here seem to gang up on you and tell you that you need to not even consider getting spousal.

Yes - its rare these days, but applying for it is not some sort of sign that you are not proud enough. The Court will only award it IF the unique circumstances of your case justify it.

Personally - I don't see why it is better to get benefits rather than spousal. I’d rather my ex paid what he is deemed liable to pay - than getting money from the government. Let the government spend the money on more worthy causes.
If ex’s circumstances change - you can always apply for benefits then.

I divorced fairly recently. In my specific case - my spousal lasts until my kids finish school.

Getting spousal maintenance does not prevent you from restarting your career. It helps you get through the early stage of divorce - especially if you need to re-train to start a career..

This, I think those who claim spousal as their career was affected should show how exactly.
Evidence of a similar high earning career stalled due to dc, no opportunity for childcare..
All the 'I had to be there in hols/weekends/evenings..' how do you think single parents manage?!

Are you my exH?
I guess not, because even he did not argue that my career was affected. He just tried to suggest I get any job, most likely administrative - as a secretary or in data processing…

My exH and I worked in the same industry. Out job required working on projects with our clients for 4 days/week - wherever those clients were located. It often meant flying out on Monday and returning on Thur.

We agreed that once we have kids - I’ll stay at hone so that our kids were not raised by nannies. But that also meant I could not go back to my type of work - as once you step off that ladder, you cant really go back in.

I was out of work market for hears raising our kids. I had a sane judge, who understood how corporate world worked - so he knew I couldn't just restart a career.

@CaptainFuture - are you bitter because you think you got an unfair deal in divorce?

@jsku thats why I said most.
and in the case of captain future post you’d easily be able to demonstrate that….

anyway op will take guidance from her lawyers on her case. But it’s unusual to get long term global /spousal unless ex is very high earner ( 200k plus) or you’ve been out of workplace decades. There will of course be outliers to this.

Well if you get married in your early 20s you might well not have a career at the time, but it might make sense (especially if you have young children) to choose not to work on this, staying in a low paid, low stress job so you can juggle childcare etc., and if you then end up divorced you're 30 or 40 and where you were at 20.

I got married at 26 and had no real "career" to speak of, but I didn't want to be a SAHM and besides, my husband doesn't earn enough to make that viable, so at 35 I am a lot further on than I was at 26. If I was the type of person who made a good housewife/ SAHM and my husband earned £100k, I might well have made different choices.

Judge at my FDR gave an indication he would award global maintenance until my ex reached statutory retirement age.

context is long marriage, I’m in my 50s and haven’t worked since 2007, 3 kids one of whom has complex needs and will likely remain living with me beyond age 18, youngest child has trauma, it is a full time job caring for them and they currently spend no time at all with father. Youngest child is 10.

needless to say ex wasn’t happy and we were unable to reach a resolution so a final hearing is pending. Ex earns 6 figures. There’s sufficient in the pot to capitalise the maintenance claim and this is what I’m hoping for even though it will mean taking less than the FDR judge indicated he would award.

My GM is until my DCs finish full time education unless I get remarried. The amount isn’t huge, more than child maintenance but still barely covers half of the costs of raising and housing two children and childcare fees.

I went for a GM order rather than CMS on the advice of my solicitor- ex-DH is self employed and therefore can and would conceal his true income.

For what it’s worth, we both earn roughly about the same and I work full time and always have done, so I’m not living off his contributions by any means, but it means if he fails to pay I can go to court rather than fight through the CMS.

My ex MIL got what sounds like the equivalent of GM.
She gave up her job to have and raise the children as ex FIL worked away. He had an affair and left her when she was in her late 50’s and her children were in their 20’s.
She got the FMH (sold it and bought outright so no mortgage) and he had to give her 2 of his pensions so she had a monthly wage until she dies. She’s in her 80’s now and has the state pension as well so she’s very well off.
She’s the only person I’ve ever come across that’s financially benefitted from her divorce.