Consent order signed???

[PinkGorilla]

So stbxh got his solicitor to send me a letter this week to sign detailing the initial division of assets. It's separate from the D81 form, however his solicitor will also be drawing that up too at some point. We can't submit our conditional order for the divorce until mid-July, however he wants to draw up the consent order early and have his solicitor retain it until it can be submitted to court, as they are giving me a lump sum soon to buy a house and I have already had an offer accepted on one. He said today that I am only getting that lump sum for the house etc based on me agreeing to and signing the all terms of the D81 when she does draw that up. He said this because I was questioning what will be on the D81, as he will have £20k more disposable income that me per year.

Anyway when he said that, I told him I've already instructed his solicitor that I'm happy to sign the initial asset division letter she sent this week detailing the split of assets (lump sum for house and conveyancing fees etc). His solicitor asked me if I was happy to sign those terms in the initial asset division letter and I emailed back yes. So that's in writing and legally binding now? ...Hopefully if the solicitor has signed it on my behalf yet 🤞🏼 as she emailed me the letter dinner time Friday and may not have received my confirmation to sign response yet. His face was a picture when he realised he now might not be able use the lump sum as leverage over me agreeing to the huge difference in disposable income on the D81. But what if he contacts her first thing Monday morning and tells her to withdraw that initial asset division letter all together? Or what if she hasn't picked up my response saying I agree to sign the terms of the letter and signed it on my behalf yet? Can he get to her to pull the plug on it before she's seen my confirmation email and signed it in my behalf? Can he withdraw that at all now I've agreed it, even if it is signed by me? Especially since it can't be submitted to a court until after we've submitted the conditional order. So worried.

he will have £20k more disposable income that me per year.
Through his earnings? Unless you are in a similar job role or could have been earning similar were it not for 'supporting his career ' if he earns more, why shouldn't he have a higher disposable income?

Well not because I'm expecting him to support me long term. But initially I won't have enough to live on, so I didn't know if a judge would question the disparity. Epecially as I gave up my career in teaching for 8yrs to have the children. All I said to him was a judge might question the difference of income and see that I will need to be topped up with benefits otherwise until I can get more hours or a different job....That'ss fine if a judge deemas it as fair that OK! I am asking my boss already to let me know if more hours come up.

My question was, now that I've agreed with his solicitor to the letter saying I can have a lump sum worth half the value of our current house to buy myself a house, can he back out of that agreement and keep using removal of that lump sum as a threat everytime I simply query anything else?

Im not sure I understand. Are you expecting a lump sum but then not wanting that included on the d81?

Im not following
you either agree the division and sign it and allow it to get ratified if you dont in which case you should delay sale and purchase until all monies agreed.

20k salary differential is t great enough to material deviate 50:50 and getting topped up be benefits or seeking higher paid work is routine expectations of divorce

I'm obviously not explaining it well. Thank you for your responses, but I'm giving up explaining it again as I'm stressed. I'm not disagreeing to anything, that's my point. I just said he threats to take things off we that we have both jointly agreed to if I so much as query anything else.

well at any point until it’s ratified and signed off in court the finances could in theory be changed, especially if deemed unfair to one party

hence why it’s not usually a good idea to start dividing out cash until agreed unless you’re amicable and in agreement

Ah yes well I agree. It was his decision not mine to draw things up via a solicitor straight away and offer me a lump sum to move out. Him and his solicitor are insisting the consent order is legally binding to some extent already, even before it can be submitted in court. He ended the marriage by emailing me divorce papers whilst I was at work, with no prior conversation about breaking up. Then the next day he was planning on drawing up the financial spilt. I've no idea what the hurry is as no one has done anything dramatic like cheated etc. I'm not sure if it's because he doesn't want me to potentially get more by going after half of his share of the business, which I won't. I just want enough to buy a house for myself and my children and make sure I can actually pay the bills until I can get more work, but he keeps using that house money as a threat to get me to agree to all his other terms. He's dangling it over my head like a carrot and constantly threatens to take the house money away if I don't agree to his other financial and child custody terms (even though that's a separate agreement). His parents are paying for solicitors for him and everything is getting pushed along at 100mph, so forgive me if I'm not educated on what is deemed as fair or not. It's only been 5 weeks since he ended it!

Don't sign anything until your own solicitor has checked it out. You can do one off consultations for specific things such as this agreement. Get advice first, it's worrying he's rushing you. Does he have a massive pension or own a house abroad?

No this is not ok! He's mugging you off and obviously trying to get this pushed through before you've actually seen anything financial. Have you seen the d81?? It sounds like he's up to something and I wouldn't trust him from what you've said. I would hold off until you can do the consent order properly even if it means losing out on the house you've had an offer accepted on. As tempting as that must be you need to look at the long game

Do you have your own solicitor?

Honestly I think you need to not sign it

you should be considering all assets, house, business, pensions , everything !

obviously we don’t know what a fair outcome or division would be but they all need to be in the pot, assessed and considered.

until they are you should t be agreeing or signing anything

Do not sign anything before getting advice from your own solicitor. There is no rush unless there is something to hide, have you had the Form E which is the financial disclosure for both sides to complete with pension, savings, business, house etc...

My stbxh did similar in December, announced a sudden separation and then a threatening lawyers letter which had to be signed straight away before Christmas which would have left me and children in a very poor financial situation.

I think what he is getting at is that if there is clear evidence that an agreement has been reached AND enacted.. then a party can apply to a court to enforce that agreement even if its not been the subject of a consent order.

I don't think you replying to an email is agreeing to an order I would look for a formal document wet signed by the parties with something which says you've had the opportunity to seek legal advice.

But in any event, even a consent order can be refused by a judge if they think its unfair. So it's a bit of pointless noise making from ex in my opinion.

I agree with others don't sign anything until you've seen your own lawyer and his salary on a D81 is a bit of a red herring if the asset split is fair.

Good luck!