Hi, I’m desperately after advice here, so please add any that you may have!!!
Im in the process of divorce and after a horrendous time am finally nearly there. The family home is being sold and the children and I need to find a new home. I’m in two minds of whether to stay local or look to move 35mins away where it’s more affordable. Where we currently live, I’m struggling to find a house (3bed) with a second room big enough to fit bunk beds, wardrobe and a desk, and a 3rd room that’s big enough to fit a single bed, in my price range. I can find a house which ticks one box but not both. I also need space to wfh and we have a large family dog. Location wise, I need to be able to do two school drop offs/be on a school bus route for the eldest and live close to a train station to commute twice a week.
Our eldest is about to start secondary school in Sept and our youngest primary in Sep. Middle is in Yr1.
Soon to be ExH only sees the children every other weekend. the new locations I’m considering are either 10mins away from him or 30mins, so wouldn’t impact his travel. I believe I’d need his consent. Does anyone know if this is the case? Obviously morally I’d like to, but is it required? He may refuse… he likes to make things difficult, but given the travel impact on him is pretty much non-existent, it should not be an issue, his only grounds are likely schools (but he’s never visited a single school to choose, wanted to discuss where to apply, contributed to applications, doesn’t even know when the admission results were/are and I had to ask him to contact the eldest to acknowledge school acceptance this week). Or his other issue that I can think of, could be moving the kids from their friends/settled area.
ultimately, the impact/ the stress is on me and the children; losing my family support and the children starting new schools, and us all making new friendship groups.
I rely on 1 family member 1 day and 1 afternoon a week. That family member would help 1 day a week if we relocated, so I’d have to seek something else 1 afternoon a week which I think is do-able. But the family member does also held ad-hoc at times, and can help when the children are sick some times. I work FT.
has anyone done this? Is it a stupid idea? Would it be very difficult for my eldest to make new friends at a new secondary school where she knows no one? Would I be silly to remove my family support? There’d be no back up in an emergency. I don’t have a strong support network of friends, could this be a new opportunity for the children and myself? Could we all benefit from a fresh start? The houses are more affordable and would offer us space. I just don’t know if it’s a silly idea…