Financial costs - feeling overwhelmed!

[Jagedz]

So I’ve taken the steps to start separation proceedings but I’m getting quoted quite high solicitor fees, anything from £4-8k in total for the process which takes approximately 4-6 months without contest.

Is this correct?

Hi OP.

Yes this is probably correct but you don't need a solicitor in many situations.

Are you married and divorcing? Is it amicable or high conflict?

Are there a lot of assets to split?

It's really easy to start a divorce online yourself and you need mediation for finances/children which can help reach a settlement if things aren't too strained.

Represent yourself

Thank you, I don’t think he’ll be easy going…I’m looking at 50/50 (possibly more as I look after two DC, late teens) but he has been the main breadwinner and the mortgage/ pension is in his name.

how do I go about representing myself and where is the best information for doing yourself?

he is a recovering alcoholic who has relapsed and I’m struggling to cope with his Jekyll and Hyde behaviour.

If you both can hammer out an agreement then somewhere like amicable would be good,

That's who we used.

https://amicable.io/?utmsource=google&utmmmedium=cpc&utmcampaign=Brand&utmmadgroup=Amicable%20Divorce%20[E]&utmkeyword=amicable&utmmmatchtype=p&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAADQEGtiCheTIxVtulE903-yiigpWX&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2qzZkdbtiwMVZZJQBh3xFiSzEAAYASAAEgJu0vD_BwE

I’ll give this a look, I’m not convinced he will leave or agree but I can try. Thank you

Wikivorce is a good website.

You can also use a qualified Mediator. They cost nearer £100 per hour (much cheaper than a solicitor). They work with the both of you to hammer out the financials, assets etc. Even if you don’t want to face your husband, they can still mediate between you. You can then use a solicitor just for the legal paperwork.

It is possible to do it yourself - but I think that only works if the divorce is amicable or it’s straight forward.

I divorced recently and it cost me a lot. It was an abusive marriage and turned into an abusive divorce. He refused to use a solicitor, and wasted a lot of my money arguing with my solicitor over things he didn’t understand, or demanding things that if he’d used a solicitor, they would have told him just weren’t reasonable.

I regret I didn’t try harder and get a mediator in.

Thank you I’m very much afraid he will be like this, manipulative is his middle name

These are relatively small, especially if H is not expected to cooperate.
In your place - I'd start the process on my own - file for divorce. Once the process starts - he'll see that you are serious, and eventually may engage in conversations.
It often takes a while for the other spouse to accept the inevitability of what it happening. Better not to spend money on solicitors before the spouse gets to that place.

Separately - having teenagers by itself doesn't entitle you to more than 50/50. In general - assets tend to be divided fairly close to even - unless there is a big difference in incomes/expected incomes or in pension funds.

Have a look on the Resolution website for divorce specialists in your area - both legal and financial. Nearly all of them will offer a free initial consultation. And many will be able to sign post you to legal aid....

PM me if you need more info. This is a specialist area of mine.