I’m considering separating from my fairly emotionally abusive husband (although I don’t know how to prove this, but I’ve gone through a pretty horrible time the last few years), and want to know what might expect financially and in terms of child custody. I’ll try and explain my situation as succinctly as possible.
Married 7 years
I’ve followed his career around country and world, impacting my own
Have a 2 year old and currently pregnant
I worked full time except when abroad (visa didn’t allow) and since having a child, although I had savings to cover the first year of maternity leave
I’m responsible for all domestic tasks
Financially, he and his family have provided. I didn’t bring any savings into the marriage (no debt either), and I don’t have a pension. He earns a decent salary, a good pension, has considerable savings (some in my name), and bought our home outright (I am not on the deeds, but it was purchased after we married)
Financially, I don’t want anything I don’t deserve, and I’m not expecting half. But I do need a home and I don’t want have to work full time whilst the children are tiny. I don’t mind selling our marital home. I also want some provision for my retirement (I don’t feel comfortable taking half his military pension). I don’t have a pension and didn’t (and won’t) qualify for maternity pay as I’ve had to move jobs to follow his postings (I saved to ‘pay myself’ maternity pay first time around but was working full time then). My salary is/was about half his, even full time.
With regards custody, he takes very little active involvement in childcare, I do 95% of parenting, although he does love our child. His job does change every 2 years, but is generally office based and no deployments on the horizon. However, we currently live down south, where I wish to stay, and he would wish to move to Scotland, and I’m worried about the impact this would have on custody arrangements.
What financial settlement might I expect, and, most importantly, what custody arrangement?
Thank you.