Seperation, unmarried, children and family home

Fitzcarraldo353 · 26/02/2025 11:50

Generally speaking your ex partner will need to pay child maintenance but no further financial support. And no you won't be entitled to stay in the house as it's his and you aren't married.

However if you can prove you've been financially contributing to the mortgage specifically you may have a claim but would need very specific legal advice.

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 26/02/2025 11:52

No you can't get a chunk of someone else's house sorry😏

You'll get child maintainance though, hopefully.

Octavia64 · 26/02/2025 11:52

Generally, no.

You aren't entitled to stay in the family home.

If you have contributed financially then depending on how you may have a claim against it.

He will need to pay you child maintenance. This is usually through the cms (child maintenance service) but you don't have to use them if you can agree between yourselves.

BookArt55 · 26/02/2025 13:25

Get legal advice asap.
Did you transfer the money to his account and have the reference 'mortgage', a better claim would be of you paid the mortgage company directly. Get this evidence. Otherwise I don't think you would have any chance of being able to make a claim on the money you have spent here.

I am in the same situation as you, however I own 50% of the family home. Even for me it would be difficult to stay in the home, I am having to take him to court and we split a year ago. If we had been married the situation is very different.

He will have to pay CMS, but again that depends. If he has 50/50 care then he won't pay a thing unless he is high earner. Check the CMS calculator.

I would contact Universal credit and get an application in place ASAP as it takes time. You can still do this while living together but separated.

Glorybox2025 · 26/02/2025 13:28

Short answer, no, it's not your house as you aren't married. You may be able to get your investment back assuming you have a paper trail.

Porkproducts · 26/02/2025 13:29

No, you won't be legally entitled to stay in the home if you are unmarried and not on the deeds.

You will only be entitled to child maintenance.

Gymmum82 · 26/02/2025 13:32

The house is his in the eye of the law so unless you have proof that you have paid in to his house vis bank statements then you are not entitled to anything. You will need to speak to a solicitor and go to court to make a claim on the house.
You are not entitled to carry on living there, he will have to pay you maintenance for the children. You may be able to get help with housing via UC

LittleGreenDragons · 26/02/2025 14:38

No, you cannot stay in the family home - it's not yours. Be aware he could legally kick you out tomorrow and there's nothing you can do about it.

He does not have to financially support you but he does have to support his children. Apply for CMS.

Look on a benefits checker to see if you can get any help, even if it's just for childcare costs. Speak to Citizens Advice too.

There is no point in speaking to a solicitor (unless you paid a lump sum on the house eg conservatory or an extension).

LadyEstrellaDellaheugh · 26/02/2025 14:41

There really isn't any point getting legal advice. It's his house and he could ask you to leave tomorrow. He absolutely should pay child maintenance, but that's all he's obliged to pay

Snorlaxo · 26/02/2025 14:49

As you’re unmarried, you can only claim child maintenance and half of joint assets like joint savings.
You can only stay in the house if you buy it from your ex. The kids have a right to be housed but it doesn’t have to be the current house or necessarily with you.
You have the right to claim the money that you put into the house but is it more or less than legal help will cost you to retrieve it? If it’s not very much then you may need to let it go and remember not to make the same mistake if there is a next time.

There are online child maintenance calculators available if you’re after a number but be warned that if your ex is self employed then he will be able to pay much less than an employed person earning the same wage.

MrsKeats · 26/02/2025 14:54

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LemonTT · 26/02/2025 18:26

There are legal routes to staying in the house if that is necessary. It won’t give you an interest in the house. The application would need to be made under the children’s act and be necessary to ensure they are housed.

If he can counter this and demonstrate you can afford to buy or rent then it is not very likely to be agreed.

To establish an interest in the property you would need to show he agreed to give you an interest in the property. Making a contribution to live there is usually rent.

ByTaupeViper · 26/02/2025 18:38

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LittleGreenDragons · 27/02/2025 15:54

There are legal routes to staying in the house if that is necessary. It won’t give you an interest in the house. The application would need to be made under the children’s act and be necessary to ensure they are housed.

Be careful with this. Having the children suitably housed does not necessarily mean with you. He could kick you out but keep the children and the law would be okay with that as they are suitably housed with their father.

Glorybox2025 · 27/02/2025 16:06

LittleGreenDragons · 27/02/2025 15:54

There are legal routes to staying in the house if that is necessary. It won’t give you an interest in the house. The application would need to be made under the children’s act and be necessary to ensure they are housed.

Be careful with this. Having the children suitably housed does not necessarily mean with you. He could kick you out but keep the children and the law would be okay with that as they are suitably housed with their father.

Yeah. There is absolutely no way the court will grant the mother the right to live in a house she doesn't own just to house the children. They can stay there with their father or go into rental with their mother.

Completelyjo · 27/02/2025 16:08

Am I entitled to stay in the family home with the children as they are so young going forward?

No.

And will my ex partner have to financially support with bills/ mortgage?

And no.

pinkdelight · 27/02/2025 16:12

Sadly not, apart from CMS. This is why it's emphasised over and over on here to get married before kids or at the very least make sure houses are in both names. As others have said, if you've managed your financial contributions to the house in a particular provable way and can get the advice to enforce that legally, there may be some hope but it's not very likely. You don't get the rights of a spouse if you're not a spouse.

Mama1980 · 27/02/2025 16:25

I'm sorry op but you are entitled to nothing but child maintenance moving forward if you have the children most of the time.
Be very careful of applying to stay in the house on the grounds that your children need suitable housing - he could say he'll have the children full time, therefore they would be suitably housed. A court would likely agree to that.
It isn't your house, so he has to give you nothing effectively. If you paid a lump sum say for a new kitchen and have a paper trail then maybe you could get some money back.
I'd focus on finding new housing, claiming any benefits etc. do you work?

LemonTT · 27/02/2025 19:20

Glorybox2025 · 27/02/2025 16:06

Yeah. There is absolutely no way the court will grant the mother the right to live in a house she doesn't own just to house the children. They can stay there with their father or go into rental with their mother.

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That’s not correct. This does happen.

I said there was an avenue the OP could explore in answer to her question. She asked if it was possible. It is possible. It might not be likely or be applicable to her circumstances.

The wrong answer is to tell someone it is impossible or could never happen ever. It does happen.

Glorybox2025 · 27/02/2025 19:34

LemonTT · 27/02/2025 19:20

That’s not correct. This does happen.

I said there was an avenue the OP could explore in answer to her question. She asked if it was possible. It is possible. It might not be likely or be applicable to her circumstances.

The wrong answer is to tell someone it is impossible or could never happen ever. It does happen.

Show quote history

Could you direct to the section of the children act which relates to this? And cite any examples?
Maybe under certain very specific circumstances this might be agreed by a court. But generally? Absolutely not.

DorothyStorm · 27/02/2025 19:46

I am not married however have two toddlers. I don’t have ownership of the family home however have contributed towards this financially. My partner is on the deeds and we don’t have any formal financial agreement in place with regards to the family home.

dear god why do women do this over and over again?!

@Sunshine1234567 is he self-employed as well?

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 27/02/2025 19:59

@Glorybox2025 Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989 in the UK allows courts to make financial orders for children. This can include payments, property transfers, and alterations to existing agreements.