Changing children’s surname *trigger warning* child SA

[Frogface234]

Hello, my soon to be ex husband is in prison for sexually abusing two of our children. There is a non harassment order in place for 99 years so even when he’s out he will have no contact with them.
I found out and called the police almost three years ago and during the whole time since then I’ve been adamant I’d keep my married name so I have the same name as my children. However I’ve been struggling with it lately and I dread saying my name in public for appointments, picking up orders etc because it’s recently been in the press and everyone locally knows I am his wife.
I mentioned it to my older children (16 and 17) they said they’d both like to change their names too as they don’t like being connected to him by name. We have two younger children together, a toddler and primary school aged one. I approached the subject with my 9 year old and she was very keen to change her name to my maiden name so I’ve told her we’d come back to the conversation in a week or so and see how we all feel. If we were all to agree to it and be happy to move forward with the name change how do I go about it? We’re in Scotland. I don’t want to just change at schools, doctors etc and have them be “known as” I would want to do it legally and officially change them.
I understand people may think I’m wrong to want to do this but unless someone has been in this position it’s very difficult to say how you would feel/think. It’s been a very traumatic and heartbreaking three years and I’m just wanting to do my best for my children. I know my oldest two can do it because they’re both over 16 and that’s fine but if my 9 year old ends up saying no then I wouldn’t force it and I’d stay the same name as the younger two.
thanks

Hope this page is helpful

https://www.nrscotland.gov.uk/registration/changing-your-name/
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I don't think you're wrong to do this at all, in fact I'd argue it's the kindest thing to do, especially for the youngest who won't have an attachment to the surname and by changing it won't have to grow up with the link to the press. The link PP has posted will be applicable for you and the two oldest. I don't know how it works for the younger children as if the father still has parental rights then I think both parties need to give permission, however I don't know how this works since he is in prison etc. It might be worth giving citizen's advice a ring/ use their livechat function to double check, and they can point you to what forms you'll need. Citizens Advice Scotland

Thank you. I read that usually both parents with parental responsibility have to give consent but I also read in circumstances like ours a court can allow it with just one, which would make it much easier 🤞🏼 Google just confuses me even more. Will have a look at the PP link

I think your best bet would be to speak to a lawyer, explain the situation and see if they can help.

usually you need both parents permission but due to the circumstances his ma6 not be the case.

I don't think you are wrong to want to do this at all OP and I don't think any reasonable person would criticise you for wanting to.
It must be absolutely awful for you all to have had to live through the experience and anything you can do to try and put it behind you, such as changing your names, seems the right thing to do.