Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Does this seem like a fair financial split? Thoughts please

92 replies

Amicablecouple · 19/02/2025 13:38

Hi everyone,

We are in the process of discussing our finances before the divorce and was wondering if anyone has any opinions as to whether the below would be considered a fair split of assets.

We have been married for 15 years and have 3 fantastic boys (14, 12 and 10)

Assets value (House, cars, savings etc) - £484000
Split -
Me - £282000
Husband - £202000
Difference £80000 in favour of me.

We would both retain our pensions built up prior to meeting. I stopped working to bring up the kids so no pension since meeting and he would share his pension (built up after marriage) on a 50/50 bases. Pension could be split into two pots with me allocated one pot.

We would both share childcare 50/50 with children living with both parents equally.

The reason for the increased asset split in favour of me is because:

I has lower potential income going forward (currently work 3 days a week but even full time my pay is roughly half his) - £20K / year full time for me, £48k / him

I would need to purchase a 4 bedroom house outright (thankfully in our area I could do this with £282000 comfortably).

His split would mean he would need to purchase a 4 bedroom with a mortgage (£700+ per month) which would obviously impact on his monthly income (so even though he will earn more than me, he would have far higher bills to pay).

I have not taken any legal advice yet but would like your thoughts on if this sounds fair. I think with these figures we would have a similar standard of living each afterwards.....which appears to be what the courts are looking at. Have I missed anything? Thoughts? Advice? First hand accounts?

Many thanks for any and all comments 🙂

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 19/02/2025 19:22

It is fair. It is absolutely right that you have a higher asset split than him given your salary is now lower only as a result of your career sacrifice for both your children. Luckily, that is also what the courts/solicitors will say.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/02/2025 19:31

Amicablecouple · 19/02/2025 19:04

My understanding is that is the case. All pensions to be split. That includes ALL pensions. This is my understanding anyway. The judges will try to make us both on equal footing after the split and going forward (which is where the 80k comes from). His DB pension (total for all years) will be worth more than that to me if we split the lot (25 years of pension contributions) from a Teachers Pension

Show quote history

But why, logically?

millymollymoomoo · 19/02/2025 19:31

@arethereanyleftatall court’s will look at her earnings potential and monthly income which op keeps avoiding. They’ll also look at ex income which is far from high. When they do this it will end up nearer to 50:50.

Shinyandnew1 · 19/02/2025 19:35

court’s will look at her earnings potential and monthly income which op keeps avoiding. They’ll also look at ex income which is far from high.

I agree. If you don't work full time hours, so aren't maximising your own earning potential, why should the ex pay to facilitate this?

PrincessofWells · 19/02/2025 19:43

Yes Op, fair and equitable. I'm sure acceptable, be sure to get a consent order agreed and signed off by the court.

I wish more parents took you and your husbands approach . . .

WomanFromTheNorth · 19/02/2025 19:44

I think it's fair. The salaries are not similar as a PP said. He earns over double what she earns. She doesn't earn as much as she's had a big career break to care for the children.

Shinyandnew1 · 19/02/2025 19:46

Yes Op, fair and equitable.

Does your ex think it's a fair and equitable arrangement, @Amicablecouple ?

If he doesn't, that's where it gets complicated, and expensive, and nobody gets a 4-bedroom house!

WomanFromTheNorth · 19/02/2025 19:46

Blushingm · 19/02/2025 14:11

Your salaries aren't that different so how can you justify the big difference in assets?

Why do you need 4 bedrooms?

He earns over double what she would earn if she were FT. That is vastly different!

WomanFromTheNorth · 19/02/2025 19:47

arethereanyleftatall · 19/02/2025 19:22

It is fair. It is absolutely right that you have a higher asset split than him given your salary is now lower only as a result of your career sacrifice for both your children. Luckily, that is also what the courts/solicitors will say.

This. From a family solicitor.

Blushingm · 19/02/2025 19:48

@WomanFromTheNorth he only earns £48k - he's not a massively high earner- she's working 3 days a week as a LSA - she needs to maximise her earnings by working full time. He is - why isn't she? She has no excuse not to

WomanFromTheNorth · 19/02/2025 19:49

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/02/2025 18:44

If his salary had soared I would kind of understand, but he is still not on a massive salary either by any means.

No, but still more than double the OPs if she worked full time. As a result of her taking years out to care for children.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/02/2025 19:51

Who don't need that any more, so she could go back to earning properly surely?

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/02/2025 19:51

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/02/2025 18:07

Why is there no middle ground? If you can 'easily' afford a 4 bed on 282k, and he would need a mortgage of around 80k with 200k, why not both get a small mortgage and have 240k each? Or less 'easily' afford a 4 bed?

Again, why not a middle ground?

WomanFromTheNorth · 19/02/2025 19:51

Blushingm · 19/02/2025 19:48

@WomanFromTheNorth he only earns £48k - he's not a massively high earner- she's working 3 days a week as a LSA - she needs to maximise her earnings by working full time. He is - why isn't she? She has no excuse not to

Even if she worked FT she'd be on less than half his salary. She needs to be compensated for this. He may not be on a huge salary but it's substantially more than his. As most women, she has taken a hit by having a decade out of work to care for children. She should and will be compensated for this.

Original poster
Amicablecouple · 19/02/2025 19:52

Shinyandnew1 · 19/02/2025 19:46

Yes Op, fair and equitable.

Does your ex think it's a fair and equitable arrangement, @Amicablecouple ?

If he doesn't, that's where it gets complicated, and expensive, and nobody gets a 4-bedroom house!

Hi @Shinyandnew1

Yes he does (ish) but we both want what we feel we are entitled to and want to make it as easy and cheap as possible for everyone.

He has not taken legal advice yet on it but I assume he will and would have thought his solicitor would say that it is VERY close to a fair split given all the information.

We are trying to manage as much as possible ourselves as we are amicable.

OP posts:
Minnie798 · 19/02/2025 19:56

Blushingm · 19/02/2025 19:48

@WomanFromTheNorth he only earns £48k - he's not a massively high earner- she's working 3 days a week as a LSA - she needs to maximise her earnings by working full time. He is - why isn't she? She has no excuse not to

I think working full time will be the only possible outcome. No way op is managing to run a 4 bed house ( even mortgage free) and pay for three children ( two of whom are teens) on her current salary.

millymollymoomoo · 19/02/2025 20:11

Op what cab and other benefits will you get ?
that will make a difference to your monthly income. No excuse to work pt now either.

if your ex agrees with this you’ll probably get this split. If he doesn’t I’d expect you have to move closer to 50:50

Shinyandnew1 · 19/02/2025 20:12

He has not taken legal advice yet on it but I assume he will and would have thought his solicitor would say that it is VERY close to a fair split given all the information.

I think you'd may well be disappointed thinking you will be able to come out of this divorce with a mortgage-free 4-bedroomed house whilst working a part time minimum wage job.

Whycanineverthinkofone · 19/02/2025 20:30

WomanFromTheNorth · 19/02/2025 19:51

Even if she worked FT she'd be on less than half his salary. She needs to be compensated for this. He may not be on a huge salary but it's substantially more than his. As most women, she has taken a hit by having a decade out of work to care for children. She should and will be compensated for this.

Show quote history

As pp have pointed out, by the time you factor in child benefit and any UC, minus the £700 a month he’ll be paying for a mortgage, she’s going to end up with a higher net income.

how is that fair?

cockywoof · 19/02/2025 20:36

He takes home £2,600 a month. If she worked full time at minimum wage she'd be on about £1,600 a month and have about £700 coming in in universal credit. If she continues in her current job she'll be paid less even if she goes to max hours, but she wouldn't be working full time.

Plus it's not clear why it would be assumed her earning potential is always going to be limited to minimum wage.

I can see family law solicitors have said OP's calculation is what the courts would give, but I'm not clear quite why they would go as far as this given he isn't a high earner and this would likely leave him struggling to provide the same standard of accomodation she's being allowed.

Crikeyalmighty · 19/02/2025 20:37

I wouldn't accept this in his case.

millymollymoomoo · 19/02/2025 20:37

Just running figures through entitled to / which I understand are rough and ready but op could be in line for 1000k per month in cb and uc… which reinforces that getting more equity to be mortgage free while leaving ex with similar take home income but large mortgage expense ( on monthly payment basis) is not fair

Shinyandnew1 · 19/02/2025 20:41

Crikeyalmighty · 19/02/2025 20:37

I wouldn't accept this in his case.

No, I wouldn't either and I'm sure his solicitor will point that out.

Is there any mortgage owing on the house you're in, @Amicablecouple ?

Rainbowqueeen · 19/02/2025 20:46

I think its fair.

It sounds like you will end up in very similar positions and so your DC will continue to have similar lifestyles whether they are with mum or with dad which is a good thing for them (both in terms of lifestyle and in terms of emotional impact)

D1ngledanglers · 19/02/2025 20:59

my thoughts are that the pension pots should be fully equalised. You’re both thinking about the “here and now” with the house equity but there will be a huge disparity in the future. There’s no way you’ll make up pension contributions.

Swipe left for the next trending thread