Is my ex correct about CMS?

[Zorbamum]

I’ve just had a conversation with my ex in regards to the splitting of our finances. When we spoke about CMS (we have a two year old DD who will live with me and see him every fortnight) he said he spoke to CMS and they said he is under no obligation to contribute to my bills and his solicitor advised him that he can request a breakdown of what I use the money on each month. Is this correct?

A bit of financial background we have a joint mortgage and he put in more of a deposit than me as he earns more. We are currently trying to sell our house but he does not want me to get 50% because I would be getting a better investment on the money I invested than him.

Thank you x

Does he think your daughter lives on thin air? From this point, ignore everything he says, it will be lies and fabrications. See a lawyer, know what you are entitled to. I don't think you should leave the marital home until it is sold though, but take advice on that. Good luck, he sounds like a dick.

I'd advise watching last weeks martin lewis money show on catch up (itv) as it was all about marriage and divorce and had some good advice. 50/50 is a starting point but you could he awarded more. Also, do you know what's in his pension pot? You may be able to share that too.

We have been together for 13 years and for the first few years I supported him. The way he sees it I am a lodger in his home. Told me yesterday if I try to go for 50% if I want any furniture I will have to pay him for it!! He is planning to move into an unfurnished flat and claims he will need the extra cash to kit it out - however we have a house full of furniture which he refuses to take because of memories! I didn't know knives and forks held such deep memories for someone.

It is annoying re. nursery costs with CMS as that is what costs me the most. I just dont understand how someone who claims to never let their daughter go without act like this! I usually buy all her things and whilst we have cohabitted I have covered her food and the most he brought was a bunch of grapes.

Thank you everyone for all your messages and advice. Its nice not to feel alone in situations like this!

Thank you I will watch. He doesn't have a pension but has savings I on the other hand have a healthy pension pot which I know if I go for his savings he will go after my pension. His savings arent worth it in my eyes! Just want my share of the house.

@Zorbamum then it's definitely a long marriage. He sounds like a bully but you have to just grey rock him and go through solicitors. He is not going to be looking at what's fair.

You have to disclose everything including pensions and savings. You can't just count the house unfortunately. Everything will be added to the pot and then split.

Mediation is usually the first step (if he's not abusive) and if you can't agree after that then it will be lengthier process.

You don't need to break down CMS, he's lying!

Told me yesterday if I try to go for 50% if I want any furniture I will have to pay him for it!! He is planning to move into an unfurnished flat and claims he will need the extra cash to kit it out - however we have a house full of furniture which he refuses to take because of memories! I didn't know knives and forks held such deep memories for someone.

Tell him to take what he wants from the house because you're not paying him a penny for it.

Do not leave the house. I know it's hard but it makes the asset split harder in court.

If the child is living with you then you maybe entitled to more than 50%

Leaving the house in no way impacts or diminishes your share

what it can do is

you lose some control of the sale/timelines if ex is difficult

you weaken any claim that you might try to make to keep that house

You are contradicting yourself? It does make a difference if she leaves with the kids if she wants to keep the family home. By time it comes to court, op will be most likely suitable housed so chances of her taking a larger proportion due to the children lessen.

How many times have we heard, and I was also told it by police/womens aid to not leave the house if I could help it. Thankfully for me he was arrested and can't enter the town let alone the house.

This.

I’m not contradicting myself at all thanks

I said - leaving does not diminish her share of the house - eg 40/50/60% equity or whatever. That remains the same whether she lives there or moves out.

but if she wants to argue that she must retain and live in that particular house ( the argument being it’s the only option and there is no alternative) then moving out proves that is not the case so can diminish any claim that she must retain the fmh