Mediated financial agreement

[Lookforhope]

Hi all
Just looking for some advice on our mediated financial agreement
My brain is telling me it’s all good - we’ve agreed this (with a mediator although they had minimal input!)
I consider the deal ‘fair’
By that I mean I can live on what he’s agreeing to pay me each month and buy a house (with a mortgage!)
He earns £300k
I earn £45k
Kids 11 + 8
Married 25yrs
Marriage broke down cos he had an affair

I’ll get 60% of the cash assets
50% of house (but not sell till youngest finishes primary in 2.5 years)
Pensions split 50:50 (his is 4x mine as I worked part time since youngest born - now full time) but £40k of pension will be offset so I have enough of a deposit to buy a suitable house

He will pay me £4K a month for 10 years
I will have the kids 65% of the time
The £4K includes a list of specific things to be covered where the kids are concerned - this will be reviewed annually

We’re almost at the consent order stage and the mediator has mentioned terms like
global maintenance
spousal maintenance
mesher order

when I google any of these things it keeps saying ‘judges hate them/they’re impossible to get/it’s only for 3 years’

I’ve engaged a solicitor for drafting the order
They said if I’m happy it’s all doable with various ‘undertakings’ to ensure he can’t wriggle out of anything
They don’t seem concerned by anything

But I’m crapping myself that a judge will take one look and say ‘that’s waaaayyyyyy too generous - give her less’

It works for me
It works for him
Surely that’s enough?

Maybe a big ask but I’m looking for peoples real world situations in similar circumstances where someone earns 7x more than the other…..TIA

Sounds fairly good for you. What would cm be in standard situations do you know? Also they do this evening up thing where if one partner has a high earning job and the other not much then they don’t want you to live vastly differing lives eg one in a small flat and the other v well off but it doesn’t sound like this will happen here??

Do you think he might have other hidden money? I would want that triple checked

What happens if he loses / changes his job? Becomes ill? Has a new family? I’d want a bigger chunk of the equity and less monthly payments so that I could have a much smaller mortgage asap. And sell the house now.

If you both agree and it looks as if you can both meet housing needs of children I think it will be fine. My divorce wasn't quite as uneven as that but it went through no probs

Why have you agreed to sell the house so soon?

@Soontobe60 depends what assets op is getting. Could be a lot for all we know.

overall this agreement seems fair based on limited info here.

the risk is if he can’t maintain those earnings but you know whether that’s likely and whether he’d duck out if it

Re CM:
Because he’s a high earner it’s abit tricky to work it out (above threshold for using the standard calc) but I think at least £1500pm?

I do want out of here. Too many horrible memories (he really was a c**t the last few years).
Only staying as it’s the right thing to do for child 2 (he has ADHD and the school he’s at are fabulous)
Then can move closer to the secondary school they will both be at.
Have made my peace with it. Plus staying means I have a support network until both kids are more independent.

We have a lot of equity in the house so will both get 250K from that
Cash assets will be 140K me and 60K him
But he will keep £40k of his pension
A 4 bed house is £550K & my mortgage capacity is 200K so that will leave me with 40K for moving costs and savings

His mortgage capacity is wwaaaayyyyyy bigger than mine so I’m not worried about him not being able to afford comparable housing - yes his monthly mortgage payments will be higher but he’ll, of course, have another income to help pay that but everyone currently pretending like the affair never happened and he’s a single Dad - blatantly untrue but nothing I can do about it 🤬

It was you I was worried about comparable housing not him

Are you saying that you are going to use the pension split for property? Maybe I've misunderstood.

The maintenance seems quite high and for a long time. Are you maximising your earnings?
Courts prefer a clean break.
No idea if they might question this though.

I got a Mesher order, the lawyer said they do they all the time and it's the bread and butter of divorces, especially if he is in agreement.

I have 12 years left on mine and get 70%.

Very few divorces end in Meshers and even fewer where one party does not agree it

the stats show this.

it’s not the norm if there is enough assets to avoid it. They key factor here is his earnings - v high

the maintenance here sounds high but probably 3k or so of that would be cms