Kids first overnight since split. What do I do?

[Imjustinvisibleme]

My partner and I had a serious falling out over something he did last week. First one in all our two decades together and told him to go to stay with his mum. He has been dropping in most days to see the kids and sometimes we talk through our stuff but mostly he avoids me if the kids aren’t there. He wants us to fix the problem but recognises it’s going to take a while. Kids blame me for asking him to leave and it’s too complex to explain the reasons to them (one is too young, the other ND and doesn’t really understand the seriousness)

Today is the first time he’s taking the kids for an overnight. I have no idea what to do with myself. I have no friends to go out with or meet up with or even chat online with. I’m living in a building site and its just depressing. I have no appetite so a takeaway isn’t really an option and I don’t drink so getting smashed isn’t either. I haven’t declared on social media as we do want to try to work through things on our own terms without interference.

How do I fill the void?

What do you enjoy doing?

go to the cinema - there are normally loads of people there by themselves

do you have money to stay in a hotel overnight? Have a lovely bath and enjoy not living in a building site?

How long is it going to be a building site?

Go and see the new Bridget jones film.

So I’m disabled with reduced mobility. Going new places alone can be difficult. I tend not to go to the cinema. Can’t afford a hotel. I’ve spent so long studying and looking after my
kids I have no hobbies. That needs to change. The hobbies I had before were active and that’s not possible anymore. I’d love to walk my dogs once again but I never will on my own.

I think the building site situation will be at least another 4 weeks. My house is a mess
of boxes.

This is pathetic isn’t it? I need to kick myself up the arse

@Imjustinvisibleme just breathe and enjoy the peace and quiet?? sounds obvious but you have been through a lot lately. Sometimes you just need a bit of time x

No advice but
' I need to kick myself up the arse'
really made me smile. That is a really positive statement and I need to do this to myself as well

Completely understand how you feel. I think this is the time for you to decide how you would like to spend your time. Knitting, crafts, card making, cake making, puzzles, reading, painting, so much!
I'm just back to the point of the kids spending an overnight away from me, I've been using it to declutter, batch cook, listen to my music, and next weekend I am aiming to get back into drawing.
It gets a little easier each time. But when you're a mum and we give our all we can often lose ourselves. Whether you do or do not get back with them, take this as that message to have some thing for YOU!