My husband filed for divorce as he says I don't love him enough.He filed for it in a heated argument one morning after a really toxic Christmas. He has been quite controlling over the years and our relationship has broken down. He always says I'm bad or not doing enough and telling me I should change and be better) then one morning when I was working he sent me a message to say he was going to file for divorce if I didn't reply to his message in time (3 hours) to say how I was going to change I didn't reply in time and he did go ahead. I have been completely broken ever since. Especially the way it was done. (I guess there is never a good time) My friends believe he was bullying me but I do not know feels real or not anymore. Is it me? He says things like the kids wouldn't want to live with me and I need to sort out finances and how to split the property. I went into a dark place, I couldn't go home and stayed with a friend fir a week. The crisis team really helped, they also put me in touch with next link if I needed anywhere ti stay if things got bad. I must take responsibility for the fact that I do work a lot. that is to pay the increasing bills and supporting 2 dc. He earns more than me and also has been spending money and taking out loans and if I ever question anything I'm told it's his money and I will do what I want with it. He then booked holiday away and I was due to come back to the house as i wanted to ge back in home and with my dc.
during his time away his mum got really ill and she passed away. It is all so sad!!
He is grieving and so much emotion at the moment. He had a difficult relationship with her but they had found a place where they were happy! I really do not want to push matters as I dont want to seem unsympathetic. I loved his mum very much and it has been such a horrible time for the dcs too.
I feel trapped as to what to do now as I got the divorce application through post and says I should reply by next week. He is saying he is grieving and it's too soon to talk about things. We are due to remortgage in May and I've asked to talk about what we are doing? He says he can't talk about finances now (even though he wanted to at start) he has said he has made plans of what is too happen - I either change or we carry on divorce and he will stay for 7 months and then move out and he will pay maintenance. I don't feel I can trust anything he says and I want to do the right thing but it's all so confusing right now. He won't tell me where he is going as that's none of my concern but I want to know if this all sounds normal? I'm finding it all hard to process and not prepared.
TIA