Pensions, in a long marriage these are considered a marital asset. The simplest way to treat them is to split 50:50. There are many forms of pensions and this means they are difficult and expensive to value. It’s not uncommon for people to “leave them out” because they have pensions that are more or less the came value or they are not worth that much. In other cases it is used to offset the value of other assets.
Pension £ don’t have the same value as cash £ in negotiations. Because it might be years before you can access this money. Finally, age makes a difference in how pensions are treated. For example, if one party is a lot older. They won’t be able to grow their pension so they may get a larger share. But generally other than this exception the parties ability to accrue pensions after marriage is not a factor in divorce. Only the current pots are divided up and your are responsible for your future pension provision.
The parties income is used to assess your need to a share of the marital assets post divorce. This is how much money you need to leave the marriage equal. It is income not salary - income less tax and deductions but including benefits and other things.
In a short marriage with no children then the idea is to restore your finance. In a long marriage it is to make you equal. Rather than pay long term spousal maintenance courts favour a clean break order and the equalisation is in the form of a larger capital share. It is a better option for all.
In Scotland there is an expectation that lower earner moves to financial independence in a relatively short period of time and capital share is never much more than 51%. In England, it’s more flexible but in modern times you are expected to work to improve your circumstances after marriage.
The settlement will consider maximised income rather than actual income. Therefore it will take into account what income you could have base on qualifications, available time to work and benefits, not what you actually earn. Whether you decide to maximise your income after divorce is up to you but if you don’t then your ex won’t pay for it.
Sometimes people agree a limited period of spousal maintenance whilst the lower earner retrains or reestablishes their career. This is c 2-3 years. But this is often not worth it for many as spousal (unlike child) maintenance reduces eligibility for benefits. Cash not used to fund a new property also reduces eligibility for benefits.
Lastly, this is all generic advice. Divorces circumstances play a significant part particularly in England. People on social media could be giving general advice that doesn’t take account of your actual circumstances. And it might be wrong advice or what they think should happen (that in its self is usually biased). A solicitor who gives you a free consultation won’t give valued specific advice. It will be general advice wrapped up in a sales pitch. Those sessions are sales pitches and the cost gets added back into fees of the clients they take on.
The thing you both have to come to terms with is that when you married you combined your wealth, all of it with very very few exclusions. That’s what the certificate you signed means. The church or ceremonial vows are meaningless and you can make them up - they have no standing. You bound yourselves financially. All your individual finances become joint and marital. This is what you are unpicking. If you cannot do it yourselves the courts will apply laws that do it for you.
You are both going to take a financial and lifestyle hit. That’s inevitable unless you have a lot of money. Higher earners may have to do more parenting than before and lower earners may have to improve their income. So one person working 3 days a week may become two people working 4 days per week. Although it is more likely you both need to work 5 days a week.