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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Drug abuse and separation

1 reply

Peachappleorange · 12/02/2025 10:48

So my husband refuses to separate even though it is an awful environment and so toxic. I have three children and work part time. There is also drug abuse on his part and he is behaving like he has relapsed. I cannot do it anymore. He will walk into a room and start an argument over anything (red flag for relapse). Everything is my fault including why he relapses. He is a bully. How do I Greywell him? Is that the right term? How do I get my ducks in a row? I don't have any savings and have a really poor credit score. I know this is going to be messy. He is desperate to keep the house and I wonder if that is the only reason he stays and because he doesn't want the world to know he has failed. He says I manipulate situations (his favourite word) but he just doesn't see that things are fine when he is clean. When he is clean things are really good but in the midst of a relapse you cannot even say hello without him having a breakdown at you. How do I navigate and put my children first during this period before I leave. I want to make sure I do what is best long term for me and my children.

OP posts:
Seaside1234 · 12/02/2025 16:05

Good on you for deciding this is the end of the road. Women's Aid will be able to help you with what happens next. Get copies of the children's birth certificates and passports, and keep them somewhere safe out of the house. Keep the originals along with any essentials in a bag you can grab in case you need to leave in a hurry. Don't hesitate to call the police if he turns nastier. Have you got any family you can go to for now? If you're married, the house will be dealt with as part of the divorce settlement, so he doesn't get to decide that he keeps it. Speak to a solicitor as soon as you can. Good luck and be careful, abusive men often escalate when you're leaving

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