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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Is this it

3 replies

Bboo3 · 11/02/2025 21:31

Im so down. This is going to be my life forever. He left me 6 months ago, cheated and left me and his 3 young children. But he's constantly in my life. Texting and asking about the kids.
He won't take them to any parties or friends houses etc if it's on his time, because his time is precious with them. They barely want to see him. I hate that this is now my life and it's going to be this way forever. I just want to get rid of him. He's caused the children so much anxiety. They've started with night terrors, accidents in the night. My 4 year old has started soiling herself at school but only on a Friday, which is the day he takes them for tea. I just want him to leave so we can all be at peace and move on. I know this won't happen. And it just makes me wanna cry.

OP posts:
Flipslop · 11/02/2025 22:12

It won’t be your life forever, this is all very early days. I’d suggest you call women’s aid about the emotional abuse you’re suffering now and see what your rights are re the kids. Get some therapy via your GP, your kids need a happy mum, make your well being a priority wherever you can. Can you get a separate phone so that you only check it when you need to re child arrangements so you’re not constantly accessed by him.
you do have it in you to stand up for your kids, you just need some help to get there x

Bboo3 · 11/02/2025 23:35

When he's not mentioned i am happy, the children are happy. But after a video call, they are back to being unsettled, angry and drained. And every text just unsettles me.
What emotional abuse? I cant see any?
I know I'll never be able to get rid of him. But it would be so much easier if he jiat walked away fully.
I am currently on a waiting list for CBT from my GP. I feel like if I stand up for my kids then I'll be seen as alienating and I don't want this to go to court and ge end up woth more visitation than he has at the moment. Xx

OP posts:
2025willbemytime · 11/02/2025 23:47

Speak to the school to ask for support for the children.
Go to your doctor to ask for support for you.
Tell him that the children are so unsettled they are having accidents and does he have any ideas for how to help the children.
This won't be your life forever. No ones life stays the same. It's your new normal and you have to find a way.
Don't waste time thinking about him or what he is doing.
File for divorce, get the children's access to their dad and the finances sorted.

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