Is it normal behaviour for an ex wife to behave like this?
My DH has the child one night a fortnight and half the school holidays. Child is 10.
when the dc is with him, the ex wife often calls 10-20 times in a row ( like crank calling with constant consecutive calls followed by demanding messages of “call me” “hello??!” ). We could be busy as a family or watching a movie or out. If we don’t answer, the rings and rings and rings until we do. When we answer it is never anything important or urgent- maybe “can you ask dc if they want to go to a party next month” - something that I think could be asked the next day, when she has him back. The dc never asks to speak to her. Never says they miss her. They are just happy with my dh and enjoying themselves.
DC is with us for such a limited time, I find it intrusive.
Ex W does the same when we don’t have dc and wants to discuss her own personal business with my DH. Particularly on special occasions like our anniversary or my birthday or when we are away for the weekend. She is married and has her own DH. If she doesn’t get an answer, she gets one of the adult children to call message “call me it’s an emergency” and then she answers!! It’s never an emergency at all.
She has been asked to just call once if necessary, and then send a message and my DH will get back to her when free.
She ignores this, despite being asked on many occasions. She says that she understands because her dh’s ex calls a lot and they find it intrusive, yet she then continues to do it herself.
I have even asked her - woman to woman to communicate respectfully but she threatened me with legal action because I was apparently stopping her speaking to her dc ( by asking that). We have dc 2 nights a month.
She has now begun to ask my DH to call her when he gets to ours with the dc. Something she never used to do. Also - DH and dc drive 2 hours straight after pick up to another town to watch sport and then later drive 2 hours home - but she doesn’t ask for a “ call me when you get there” when they arrive at the sports ground- only when he gets home to where I am. I find this weird.
When DH has asked her to stop the constant calls and messages that follow and instead just call once and send a message and wait until he is available- she threatens “ if you don’t want me to contact you about the kids or to see the kids then I won’t”. She twists it.
All that has been asked is for healthy respectful communication boundaries.
It feels like harassment and intrusion and manipulation. It really irritates me as me and my ex husband have never behaved like this with kids. I’m suspecting sabotage because she used to manipulate the older kids and guilt trip them into staying with her and not EVER visiting DH. She’d say “ grandma’s old, sick and dying you better not leave” FOR 4 years since I came on the scene!!!! Grandma is still alive.
I try to explain to DH that this is not normal behaviour but he is too scared to address it with her anymore because of her threats of stopping the dc contact like she did with the older ones via manipulation.
DH refuses to go to court.
I am at the point where I could just walk away because I feel she has an unhealthy hold over my DH and the kids.