Should we split up?

[klr10]

I am in a long term relationship and argue most days we have teenage children together and this is now starting to affect them. They have told us they are fed up of it and worry about what to expect when they come home from school, and if we will be arguing or not. They are more close to me than their dad and I have their backs when their dad is oftern having a go at them over very silly things which causes more arguing between us. He thinks I should side with him no matter what I feel. I keep thinking that I am not being a good mam by putting my children through this and I font know what I should do. My children will always be my priority. ( which he doesn't agree with) . Any advice would be so helpful.

Put your children first.

If it’s reached the point that your children worry about coming home, the answer should be obvious.

if you aren’t ready to actually divorce, you can always start with a separation, but stop making yourself children live like this.

Yes.

Boyfriends/husbands/partners/lovers/shags/fiance's come and go.

Kids are forever.

Something needs to change, but it doesn’t have to be splitting up.

If you want to work on improving things and both of you are willing then try counselling.

But if the love has gone or he won’t change then work on your next steps.

I moved out after resisting a lot of pressure from my daughter to do it because I needed to do what was best for us all. He is being very selfish in not putting them first but they also don’t have the experience to understand sometimes there is a bigger picture.

You can put your kids first by trying to make changes other than leaving. I tried and it didn’t work. Him and my daughter don’t speak and their relationship is worse now. I get blamed for that a lot but he’s still refusing to really consider how he made her feel (a month of stonewalling us both) over how he now feels about her blanking him.

There isn’t a right answer but I’ve learned there are a few that are definitely wrong!