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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Family home

9 replies

Sarahd3342 · 07/02/2025 18:05

I am concerned my child could become very confused about a potential situation and wondered how potential emotional harm could be alleviated.

Myself and stbxh had our child 5 years ago. He walked out of the family home a year ago and so it has just been me and our child in the family home since. There is the potential for my stbxh to buy me out. I am concerned this could be very confusing. It is the only home our child has had, memories of mum and dad. But it has just been mum and daughter for a year. And it now has the potential to be dad and daughter. Daughter will live with me most of the time but in a new home. How do I get around the potential confusion this will cause with daughter now being in the family home on dad days but mummy not there?

Any help? Suggestions? Or do we just both sell up/I buy out stbxh so to avoid confusion for our daughter?

OP posts:

MummytoE · 07/02/2025 18:09

I've seen some parents keep the child in one home and they move about. I think it seems a good idea , might it be practical? Just another idea really, if you and your ex don't get on it might not work. If not, and you can afford to buy ex out I would maybe go for this option. Sorry you are dealing with this it sounds very stressful

TheLurpackYears · 07/02/2025 18:12

It will be ok, honest. Be enthusiastic about your new home together, another lovely bedroom for her, new things to explore.
My dc have loved having 2 bedrooms and 2 houses, rhay part of things has gone well.

comfyshoes2022 · 07/02/2025 18:12

I don’t perceive it as especially confusing to your child, but perhaps I am missing something. (Obviously divorce is confusing but I don’t see this as that much more confusing on top of it.) Whether it is what is best for your DD is another question and seems like it would depend on a lot of other variables related to housing options, school, etc.

catin8oots · 07/02/2025 18:12

Sounds shit I wouldn't do that to my kid. They need one stable primary home with a primary carer. Doesn't matter if it's new/different/smaller. That's not to say that she can't or won't have a good solid and regular relationship with dad. Depends if he's a shit or not.

Kids adapt to that much more easily than they do to chopping and changing parents just for the sake of keeping the same bedroom.

Hope you're okay OP

Verlaine · 07/02/2025 18:19

Children are pretty adaptive - they’ll probably just be happy they get to stay in the house some of the time still. Also, they’re 5 no so surely can understand?

Original poster

Sarahd3342 · 07/02/2025 18:19

Hi,

I'm not sure if I have explained properly. But basically the family home stays however instead of mum living there mum has a new house and daughter lives in the new house in the same area but dad moves back into the family home. Daughter will still have her old bedroom etc when she visits dad. Is that too confusing?

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 07/02/2025 18:20

It will very fine. It is just bricks.

millymollymoomoo · 07/02/2025 18:27

It’s not confusing

Nealsplace · 07/02/2025 20:21

I started another thread but had little response regarding selling the family home. I can imagine my stbexh wanting to buy me out (I don't think he will have enough funds). I don't want to stay here in the family home. However, in my situation, he has attempted to weaponise our dc. He will likely say mum has left or something similar. Therefore, I think it best to sell the family home in this instance. I would have liked to have maintained some stability for my dc - familiar bedrooms etc. Difficult one op.

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