School fees liability

[Rawnotblended]

Divorced in 2022, 3 kids all with SEN, fully diagnosed, EHCP etc. Eldest was flunking in y10 and his school also does weekly boarding so he suggested boarding for y11. His father tried to block it because he didn’t agree with private education - except it’s not private, it’s state - and said he wouldn’t pay the boarding fees so I’m paying them myself. Son absolutely loves it, is thriving and his grades have rocketed. He wants to stay in for 6th form and ex has said that he won’t try and block it but in no way should he be liable for the cost. So I’m covering it all. Is there anything I can do other than just suck it up and pay? He earns three times what I do, and hardly sees the kids anyway. He pays CMS at CMS rates (which he keeps artificially low by taking his bonus as shares) and we have nominal spousal maintenance. He’s also an arse.

Not really no. Morally or legally he has no obligation to pay for his son to board when he didn't want him to...
it's great that your son is thriving and maybe he can convince his Dad to chip in but I'm unsure you'll be able to

His father tried to block it because he didn’t agree with private education - except it’s not private, it’s state - and said he wouldn’t pay the boarding fees

If there are fees, then it's on a par with private school and he's well within his rights to disagree. Most people can't afford 10/20k a year to spend on fees.

If one parent wants their child to go somewhere with school fees and the other doesn't, I think the person who wants this has to pay.

It’s your choice so you have to pay
you won’t be able to force your ex

Is a bursary an option?

Out of curiosity how much is this?
And would this be for all 3 children?

No there is nothing you can do to get him to contribute towards paying for the boarding.

Whilst it's brilliant that your sons grades have improved and he's doing well academically he has been clear from the beginning that this is not a cost he agrees with and will not contribute towards. I think that's fair enough as if it was the other way round you'd be rightly contesting if he expected you to contribute thousands extra each year.

Thanks everyone for your feedback.

@Snoopdoggydog123 no this is just for eldest, the other two are entirely different with different needs. The boarding would cost me £36k over 2 years of 6th form.