I've been with my husband for 10 years. I've recently recognised why things never seem ok over the course of the decade. We have kids aswel. But in every single phase of our marriage there's never been consistency no matter how much I tried. Its because he's been emotionally abusing me over the full decade but i couldn't understand it until I watched a reel on it & it all clicked.
It began with silent treatment but when I'd tell him how much that would upset me he would say he needs space. But this would last for a week, sometimes 2 weeks and once it went on for 2 months. The reason for the silent treatment would be a minor dispute or sometimes even a genuine misunderstanding. He knew it crushed me. I'd beg him to talk to me but he never really showed any remorse.
I noticed he was always critical of me and nitpicking. He would belittle me in public & laugh it off. He showed me no concern when it came to my emotional needs. It was all about him & unfortunately i got caught into the cycle.
I was so fed up of his punishments that i grew to accept it, so when he went silent i no longer begged him to talk to me.
He wasn't happy about that clearly as he found a new punishment.
So if i did anything to upset him for example i got late for our movie night or just something minor he would punish me by saying i am taking the kids on the weekend & u ain't coming. Or if we'd made weekend plans he'd cut me out of them for example going to dinner at his parents i would be left behind. This began to occur more & more as he could see it ate me up.
I was angered by him, & lost all my respect for doing this so i was rude & not being the wife he wanted me to be so he took it even further & said he wants to seperate. But he's doing it to shake me up but I've given no reaction & agreed. He's not my forever person but i really cannot afford to seperate right now! He's sent me papers to sign about how we spend time with kids before he leaves the home. What are my rights as a mum & any other advice is welcome.