Child care arrangements - what is fair??

[Bumblebeefree]

Hi All,

Can anyone share how they split childcare arrangements.
We will have mediation but I want to also know what I am asking for and also go in confidently. He works 9-5pm 5 days per week. I am self employed so more flexible.

Proposal 1 - Wednesday overnight ( kids finish at 6pm and go to bed at 7pm so not too difficult) and then taking then to school and nursery on Thursday and then Saturday daytime.
Then every other weekend full weekend Friday - Sunday
Half terms Thursday - Sunday.

Proposal 2 - Friday - Sunday Every other week only . One pick up from school but dropping them home to me.
Half terms Split the whole holiday.

What sort of arrangement do you have that work?

How old are they?
do you live close to each other ?

What is fair, what is right and what you would prefer are all different things.

Age of children matters, but they are old enough to be in full time child care.

Does he want 50/50? If so that is definitely a reasonable option, if he prefers less then 1-2 evenings per week and ideally one day at the weekend every week is better for younger ones as frequency matters.

What are you hoping for yourself? But remember must take any monetary differences out of the equation when thinking about what is right or fair because it distorts too many child custody decisions. Put the child central to the question and between you come to an amicable agreement with a bit of wriggle room is my advice.

I stress that what is right is different for each family so nobody can tell you whether you opening suggestion is right or fair, my instinct is that for such small children an hour after nursery is too short

Sorry everyone I should have said ages!

They are aged 3 (DD attends nursery 3 times a week Tuesday - Friday.
DS is 5 and in school but attends afterschool club Tuesday - Thursday.

And yes he lives within 20 mins of the DC!

Option 1 means you don't get them on any Saturday though? Option 2 I would say.