End of marriage and grief

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Name change for this one...... not sure what I'm looking for but it might help to just put this somewhere

So it looks like my marriage is over and it bought up a whole wave of grief for my parents as I've realised I literally have no one!

I've lost both my parents and I'll have no one who'll be 100% on my side I have aunts and cousins but aren't that close (geographically as well as relationship wise) and have a lot going on int heir own lives atm as well!

We've relocated into my parents house as we both got made redundant while I was on mat leave and have enjoyed a summer off by the coast but it's all turned a bit sour! I've recently started my dream job but it involves working every other Saturday and unknown when we split husband will go back to his previous industry with anti social hours and 60 day weeks so won't have our daughter on the Saturday I work! I have no village, no friends here and I don't know what to do I'll probably have to give up the job!

It's made me desperately miss my parents and I just want them so much im 45 and just want my mum!

I hear you ❤️
I moved to a different part of the country when I met my Ex and although have lived here for 25 years I've never considered it home.

My DF died years ago and DM last year. Apart from DC I have no other close family and I feel very lonely. Miss my DM so much.

On the bright side I am finally out of a dead marriage and I can now focus on putting myself back together.

You will get there

Thank you for replying!!

I'm so sorry about your Mum! It's so hard isn't it!

I know things will work out in the end but right now I can't see the wood for the trees!

First of all lots of hugs to you.

Second of all. You shouldn't have to automatically give up your job as he can't do the Saturday. It's a two way street that needs a discussion!

But he's been very clear he won't be staying around in the area!!

It's just bought it home that I literally have no one!

Bless you! Breath this will work out. You just need to take it day by day and try not to worry to much about the future it will fall into place.

You are very brave leaving a marriage that isn't working, many stay in an unhappy marriage which is torture and unfair on your child.

New people will come into your life and although not the way you planned it your life can be good again.

Could you work part time? Your husband will still need to support your child. Firstly get good advice, solicitors etc.

You are stronger than you think!!

I wish you well and sending you a massive hug.. you've got this. 💐x

how old are your children?

I would try not to give up a job if it’s something you love if at all possible as that will help you get through this.

research all Saturday care options, some child minders do offer Saturdays as example.

can you join some clubs ( ie if children are young) some baby /toddler type ones where you can meet other mums who could become the start of a friend group or have play dates etc to give you a bit of a break ?

what access arrangements is your ex proposing if he’s moving away? Can he be persuaded not to move??

I am only part time but it includes every other Saturday!!

Little one is 19months!

Who knows if I can persuade him to stay it's still quite new and raw and up in the air! He is a brilliant Dad so not sure why he'd choose not to see her 🤷‍♀️ we'll see!

I've tried making friends but nothing substantial has come of it yet!

Little one is starting nursery next month but until then hasn't been left anywhere without one of us so will look into Saturday childcare- didn't even know this was a thing!!

When I left my marriage I realised I didn’t have anyone (parents dead), no close friends etc.

Ive had to move somewhere completely new where I don’t know anyone.

However in the last two years I have worked hard to foster friendships, and I now have a very small circle of friends, but no one who is especially close. But it is such an improvement on two years ago.

Its hard work and takes time and results aren’t quick.

I took a scatter gun approach and tried everything and anything. As is often said the friendships and connection can come when you least expect it.

You have a very young child which will make it harder, although there are likely to be more opportunities through her.

You thoughts and emotions will be mostly about the end of your marriage so it will be hard to summon the mental energy to go on a friend finding mission and the setbacks you’ll get.

Id get in contact with your aunts and cousins - there’s nothing to lose.

im 20 years older than you - and I still wanted a mum I could turn to.