Mesher order

[LonelyMomma]

Hello my fellow mumsnetters,

I am currently considering divorcing my husband. We have two kids under 3.

I would hope for amicable split and our flat barely has any equity in it ( we only bought it last march).

I would be the main caregiver.
I can’t buy him out right now but it’s possible I will in the next five years be in the position to do that.

Can mesher order be done via solicitor if both parties agree? Or does it need to go to court?

( I know they are rare this days but that seem to mostly apply to not so amicable split).

Thank You x

As far as I'm aware everything needs to be signed off by the court as far as financial matters are concerned even if both parties agree to ensure that one party is not being unduly "hard done by".

These days the courts are very much in favour of clean break orders, severing all financial ties at the point of the decree absolute. Unless you have exceptional circumstances (inability to earn yourself - having young children doesn't stop you from doing this btw), or the children have some sort of severe disability meaning they cannot be placed in ordinary childcare, I don't fancy your chances.

Is your STBX really happy that he will be most likely to secure another mortgage for another 15 years? Your proposal to buy him out in 5 years with some yet to be received income which may not pan out isn't really a bargaining chip.

Can you pay the full mortgage on your own without his assistance?

If you both agree to delay the sale of the property that is between you, you don't need the courts approval. I didn't sell my house for 3 years so my dc could complete university, we filed the financial split after they left.

Thank you.
Yes I can pay the mortgage on my own. I just can’t remortgage to buy him out ( silly I know, and rent would be double my mortgage if we sell).
He doesn’t plan on buying ever again so being on my mortgage for 15 years doesn’t bother him.
He doesn’t want children overnight.

I am seeing solicitor on Monday but just trying to see what the options are.

The risk is that in 2 years he changes his mind and wants to buy ( eg if gets a girlfriend etc) and will push for exit

what equity is there ? What is mortgage and what do you both earn ?

Why does he not want the children overnight ????

Because he “can’t” ( read more like can’t be bothered) to even parent solo for an hour with them both so definitely out of the question.

The mortgage left is about 235k.
London unfortunately.
Current mortgage is 1100~£
Equity I am not exactly sure. I would say about 40k max?
Tricky part is I was mainly part time last 3 years due to childbearing.
We both self employed. He earns about 30k.
Currently I earn about 25k as work very part time around school ( older in school nursery, younger just started 3 days a week normal nursery).

I know that if I can organise childcare ( which I just did with younger one) I can earn about 45k~

But as I said that’s not enough to buy him off right now. It can be in few years time. Flat unlikely to grow in price.

So again… does anybody that have any experience can comment on mesher order idea?

If he agrees to it a judge won’t force a sale

if he disputes it it’s difficult to get one

is your ex going to be agreeable with cms considering he’s self employed ….

Yes to get rid of the kids, he very much will would be my guess ;) so he can play Disney dad while I am the mean mummy that expects things.

Don’t forget that with a Mesher order, once the time scale is up, you have to pay your ex their share of the market value of the house at that time. Not at the time of the split.