First steps of divorce. Help!

[Rebros41]

Hi! I’ve come to Mumsnet for years to get snippets of advice and now it’s time to actually post a question of my own.

I’m in the early stages of separation. I know I need to see a solicitor first but wanted to reach out to any others who have been/or going through this process themselves.

I’m really worried me and my children will be made homeless as I think I’m going to struggle to cover the bills on my own. I’ve just become self employed as I’ve started my own business. But it’s not profitable yet. Thankfully I’ve been able to apply for Universal Credit which is bumping me up a bit. The house is jointly mortgaged by us both. My ex is offering £240 a month as support for our 6 year old and nothing toward my daughter. He’s been her stepdad for 10 years. I guess I’m looking for some encouragement and I guess hope that things aren’t as bleak as they seem!

Feeling super sad and vulnerable at the moment :(

Aw, it's crap OP! Have you checked the CMS calculation to see if £240 is what he should be paying? Sadly I don't think paying for step children is a thing, so it would just be the youngest to be counted.

Appreciate it might be a tough take - can you afford to be self employed and starting a business right now? Is there any possibility of taking employment with a bit more security vs trying to turn a profit as someone newly self employed?

Are you married? Any equity in the house you could split on the sale? Savings etc to split?

With the benefit of hindsight and (initially bitter but now happy) experience, it helps if you can accept that your lives and your lifestyle are going to take a bit of a hit BUT that this may only be for a while, and if you think outside the box then things can be better than you think. The biggest stumbling block seems to be people who want to "keep the house" when this is absolutely not viable.

FWIW, both XDH and I are now very happily remarried.

I take it your older DDs father contributes nothing? Any chance of that changing?