On the verge of homelessness and desperate for a good legal professional

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Long story short: I desperately need a recommendation for a solicitor with heart, brains, and grit.

Some context is below. I'm sorry for the length. I've been very isolated with only one person in the UK who I see consistently and I guess not having anyone to confide in makes it a relief to be able to share some of this anonymously.

I know many of the women on here have been in the position of fighting an abusive ex in contentious financial remedy proceedings. In my case the ex is a very well-connected Chartered Accountant who alleged to me early last year that he committed fraud and embezzlement in the millions. At the same time he revealed that, I learned he had actually spent a large amount of the money he embezzled on maintaining a mistress in multiple villas in Europe and paying for donor eggs/IVF abroad so that they could produce a child-- which I only learned about when my husband texted me about his fraud and dropped that bombshell on me at the same time. (I had had multiple miscarriages during our marriage and ultimately went without having children for fear of exposing them to his abuse.)

I have been left on Universal Credit and LCWRA with debts mounting and a lifelong debilitating medical condition diagnosed by the NHS. My husband, meanwhile, is driving two brand-new luxury cars he bought in early 2024 (one for him, one for the mistress). He continues to take first-class flights to a foreign country so that he and the mistress can embark on further fertility treatments to produce another child. He paid in cash up front to rent himself a lavish historic home for his new family all while claiming to be bankrupt and refusing to pay charges due on the marital property to prevent its repossession. (I believe he's actively seeking to have it foreclosed upon.) He changed the addresses of the businesses that he stripped of money to the marital property where I am the sole resident; I have left my home only 28 times in the past 9 months because process servers come to bang on the door looking for him and I'm terrified bailiffs will break in and assume everything here belongs to him. He has filed documents with the court showing that he's attempting to use me to alibi some of his crimes; I have documentary proof these are lies, but I cannot alert the authorities because he'll haul me into court and demand I be imprisoned for disclosing confidential documents. He has multiple legal teams divorce, insolvency/criminal-- and his family are all solicitors as well. He has an Oxbridge degree and a network of old boys to work connections and do favours. I'm an immigrant who was kept isolated here throughout our marriage. I'm also highly educated, but this only seems to cause people to blame me for the abuse because I should "know better."

He has apparently been planning this for years with the benefit of both expert legal assistance and assistance from one of the billionaire investment groups he took money from. According to a former employee from one of his companies, he has worked with those investors to divert funds contributed by two other large investment funds such that the money appears "lost" and my husband's dozens of businesses all appear suddenly insolvent when they were worth £28m only months prior. As it turns out, some of the money laundering he was doing was to help this big investment group evade a multimillion dollar tax liability abroad-- so unsurprisingly, he's got a lot of leverage and they've already offered him another large line of credit to use for his businesses, which he has postponed accepting so that he can appear insolvent for purposes of the divorce. He refuses to hand over his business records in spite of a court order to do so and has indicated he will make sure I suffer if I attempt to pursue my right to full and frank disclosure.

Even without his records, I have enough of his transactions to see that he has paid the mistress some £400k in cash tax-free since 2020, in addition to large unexplained cash transfers to members of his family. In 2019, when my husband claims he began his affair, his parents changed their wills so that half their estate is left to their other child and the other half is left under control of that child but unnamed as to designee. Presumably he's been plotting to divorce me alongside this long-term plot to defraud investors and has worked with his parents to make sure their substantial fortune is not available to the judge to consider. I know this man has money he's relying on; he has not adjusted his lifestyle at all and is actively working to expand his previously secret family. The inheritance he is counting on receiving is worth millions. His solicitors are threatening to file for an interim sale order for the marital home to make me homeless, since my husband is accumulating arrears and and service fees on the property so that he can go on holiday, send his new child to private nursery, and dine at expensive restaurants. I have been rationing food, medication, and even heat and hot water for months now.

I am up against evil and hate that I can't comprehend. I am up against evil and hate that I can't comprehend: my husband sent me many letters over the course of our relationship explaining that he abuses me because crushing the happiness out of me makes him feel good, and I've struggled for months against ending my life knowing that he is so determined to punish me for his own crimes. I am only hanging on because my elderly mother lent me every penny of her retirement fund so that I could retain a solicitor to help me through the First Directions Appointment. I want to survive this so that I can restore that money to my mother out of whatever settlement I can get; I'm my parents' only child and they both have health issues that require long-term care. If I have enough money left to keep a roof over my head after paying my mum back, that would be terrific. Unfortunately I gave up an excellent career to move to the UK because my husband insisted he would be the one who would have to provide for the family I never got to have, and I really wanted that. When my husband confessed his alleged fraud last year I was in the beginning stages of developing a new career that was giving me a lot of satisfaction and from which I had just earned a major contract that would have supported me for several years. I have lost that contract now; the work involved exposing white collar fraud, and the contract allowed for cancellation if my reputation might be compromised by my association with a criminal.

I was hoping in the most recent hearing I had a couple weeks ago that the judge would act to penalize my husband for his nondisclosure as well as his filling his forms with a stream of abuse and hate directed towards me. Not only is the ongoing abuse psychologically taxing, I have an incurable autoimmune condition that is likely to limit my remaining lifespan to 5-10 years, a figure which will drop if I am exposed to relentless stress, per my treating consultants. One way or the other, this process is killing me. Unfortunately the judge decided not to even hold the hearing because he was busy, and as a result, my husband's legal team dominated the draft order that was sent to the judge for approval. The order has created a nightmare of procedural deadlines designed to reward my husband's nondisclosure and take advantage of my position acting in person. It is possible that the judge will modify the orders when he sees how deceptive my husband is being and how outgunned I am legally, but when I called the court yesterday I was told it might take weeks or months for the judge to finalize the order, and in the meantime, I have to abide by it as though it were binding. This gives me four weeks to perform intricate legal tasks designed to strip me of my right to full disclosure while exploiting my mental and physical fragility.

I am desperate to find an intelligent and compassionate solicitor who won't charge "London rates" and will make conscientious use of the slim amount of funds I'll be able to come up on short notice with by selling a few sentimental pieces of family jewelry at cut rates. No one seems willing to help me as soon as they understand that this case has "big money" complexity but will require strategic thinking and strong advocacy to find where the big money (big to me, anyway) is actually hidden. My life depends on this, very literally. Please, if you have worked with a solicitor you trust and consider ethical, I would be so grateful for any recommendations.

Whereabouts are you based, OP? A lot of solicitors will charge additional rates to come to a court that is outside of their area so you'll want to avoid that, and some will only work face to face, rather than over the phone.

How long were you married? What age are you both? When did you last work?

I didn't read all the post but summary is you fear your ex will be able to hide funds. However please be aware that factors such as length of marriage, your ages, are more relevant than his money.

Did you have a solicitor at the first court? I think you should be aware that courts don't award large settlements, without children, because one party is very wealthy. This could be the reason why solicitors are reluctant to take on your case as final hearings are very expensive and there is no guarantee it will be financially beneficial to you.

im so sorry OP, this sounds desperately horrific! I have no advice I’m afraid, but I’m bumping the post for you in the hope that someone knowledgeable will be able to help.

I'm based in central London, but definitely open to working with solicitors who can conference remotely, since London prices are supposedly much higher.

We were cohabitating/married for over a decade, are both in our late 40s, and I gave up a lucrative career to have children, which didn't happen-- first because of miscarriages, and then because I didn't feel the marriage was a safe environment for a child. I felt I had to prioritise that over a desire to have a family.

I had both a solicitor and barrister at FDA (although that was adjourned due to my husband's failure to make disclosures which he still hasn't made). Both my solicitor and barrister thought I had an extremely strong case and things did indeed go VERY badly for my husband at that first hearing. However, he undid all that progress (and then some) in the resumed hearing since the judge didn't actually sit for the hearing and he was able to continue to instruct expensive counsel. I got turned down everywhere that was affordable for me on the grounds that my ex has behaved so badly and gained so much financial advantage over me that I require work from a very experienced partner. So it seems my husband has not only robbed me (and a bunch of investors and employees) of money, he has robbed me of my right to pay to pursue justice. Even an associate with no experience would at least save me from the stream of abuse and mockery I get from my husband and his counsel on a continuous basis.

Meanwhile, after months of work by investigators and auditors, my husband's defrauded investors have flown from overseas to instruct counsel in London to pursue him for the missing funds. These companies are very, very rich. If they are paying for counsel to chase him, they are doing so because they think it's worth the time and money. And yet I'm expected to accept the word of a man who abused me for decades and won't even hand over his bank statements. I am so sad that the legal system here is designed this way.

Thank you, I appreciate both the bump and the compassion!

This sounds very complicated and not at all like the sort of thing that can be done on the cheap. I think you will need to engage a good quality lawyer if you do think you will receive a decent settlement. There are litigation loans and things which may be helpful. You need to speak to your existing solicitor to get assistance.

Thanks, unfortunately you can only get a litigation loan if your ex leaves obvious assets available to claim against. In my case, my ex won't turn over the bank statements required to determine the final destination of all the wire transfers he made to his confederates and all the millions he bounced through dozens of accounts worldwide. Therefore no one can tell if there is money left and how much- but my husband is certainly not living the lifestyle of a poor person, and his ongoing efforts to have more children through private fertility treatments in Europe suggests he doesn't expect to be hard up for money in the future. He's also got plenty of money for his own legal fees some 100k between the divorce and his business insolvency issues already. But he can't afford to pay the low-four-figure debt he owes on the service charges for the marital property, which might lead to its repossession.

Oh, and as for private loans, the first thing he did was make sure I had no access to cash. I had a small personal loan here through my bank, and this caused me to go into default on it immediately. (I tried to negotiate payment arrangements but the bank refused; I'm told I have a solid FCA complaint against them, but who has the time for such things with all that's hanging over me already.) My previously perfect credit rating is ruined, sadly.

I would recommend Acumen Law in Brighton or Britton and Time, also in Brighton. I used Acumen and my exh used B&T and they worked very well to keep things as amicable as possible.

Can’t advise on much, but I had a litigation loan and it was against the equity in the house and suggested settlement figure.

TBH if you have shedloads of fraudulent proof against him I would turn it over to HMRC and at least try that way.

I had a very deceitful ex and ended up at court, and it will cost, even if it’s not at London prices I’m afraid.

If there are uk assets you would be best to try to preserve them first. Can you put a charge on the house you live in? Does he have pension funds or other uk assets you can list?

How long were you legally married for (cohabitation doesn't count) in legal terms any settlement will be about splitting assets, shorter the marriage then the courts take a different view to finances often. The reason for the relationship breakdown is not relevant to the settlement under English law.

You could contact Vardags they offer an initial free consultation for high net worth cases, and they have excellent forensic accountants and other specialisms you might need.

If most of his assets have been moved out of the UK it's going to be hard to access them whatever a UK court says especially if your ex husband is also no longer resident here. Add to that some of the assets were illegally obtained and could therefore be ceased under poca in the UK and it sounds like getting anything is unlikely. That is probably why solicitors are reluctant to take the case.

I'm very sorry however in my experience courts don't dispense "justice" they follow the law and in divorce cases assets have to be located to determine what can be shared.

At your age you are still able to rebuild your life..trust me on this as I had to do it. Try to focus on what you can control which is securing a job and housing.

Is it worth delaying divorce until his finances are located? Are you listed as owner on the property?