separating- what things do I need to know!?

[AmplePinkBear]

Hi I told my husband I wanted to seperate at new year.

Despite our marriage being on very rocky ground for a number of years he has taken this hard and doesn’t want to split.

We have 2 children ages 8 and 2.

I was hoping other separated/divorced women with children can tell me anything I really need to know about the process and how it all unfolds really.

we own our home, and everything has been 50/50 that’s gone into it. Neither of us can afford to keep it on their own.
I want to sell asap and get my own place for me and the kids however I am struggling to see how that’s possible to time selling one home, splitting the money and buying 2 other homes simultaneously. I want to keep upset and disruption for the kids to an absolute minimum.

how have others done this?
looking for any and all advice really.
thanks

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this! There is a rainbow on the other side.

Do you own your home as joint tenants and equally? Is there enough equity to allow you to rent elsewhere? Or buy in a lower cost area?

You are married and that is essentially a financial agreement, one that binds you together until you legally end it. In very simple terms all your assets even those held individually are marital assets until it is decided otherwise by both of you or a court. The split of assets is usually determined by need. If the need is equal then 50:50 is the likely outcome. If one party has greater need then they get more. This is usually where their income (net salary plus benefits) is much less.

There are divorce laws that govern this process and you need to follow them. You also have children together and you have a responsibility to them to reach agreement on how you co parent. None of this will happen over night and you may need at least a year to get to the point where you can sell up and start your single life. It take much longer but it won’t be much shorter.

You have made the decision to leave him. He doesn’t have to like it but he will need to accept it as you don’t need his agreement to divorce. The next step is mediation where you are supported and helped towards agreeing how to split your assets and how to co parent.

Unless one of you agrees to move out you are both able to reside the house until this is decided. If this is not possible because of abuse a court can intervene. Otherwise you are stuck together until you can agree finances and co parenting.

I would get cracking on mediation or even counselling re the split. When you are close to knowing what is going to happen and how it is going to happen you can tell the children. If you are both realistic and willing to compromise you get there quickly and without acrimony.

I'm not the op but thank you lemon that's so helpful. I'm similar situation but no kids.

So we live in a small village, I would like to stay here to keep school and friends same for children and we both work locally but the housing market is tiny. We both are joint owners of the home and he works full time whilst I was part time to look after the kids

he is beginning to comes to terms with it now I think. Our mortgage rate expires soon so as neither can afford to keep the house ourselves I think this may speed up the needs to sell rather than commit to another mortgage

Op how is it going? I’m in a similar situation albeit no children which I appreciate should make it so much easier but I have confidence issues and little support around me which has made it harder.