Children and Lone Parenting After Divorce

[Adifficultjourney]

I need to leave my husband as I've experienced emotional manipulation and abuse which has ramped up over the past 12 months. With stealth, I am preparing for this.

My dc are 12 and 8. One dc has a neurodiversity which makes parenting more complicated sometimes. I have friends but no other hands on support/day to day support other than my husband. I am feeling anxious as although I have received no emotional support and I am the one providing this to my children, my husband supports with practical housekeeping and school runs on his way to work most days for youngest dc.

Is this going to be as hard as what I think it is? Managing everything. I know I will just have to cope but the prospect is very daunting. I am prone to becoming anxious easily. I am (mostly) a good parent but have to work hard at not becoming overwhelmed. I am receiving therapy. My dc are doing okay at school and with their friendships.

What would happen if your DH disappeared, you’d have to cope. Yes you can do it.

I’m choosing to do this (emotional abuse has ramped up so not much choice). Early menopause. I feel tired just thinking about all the upheaval. Sad at all the lost possibilities. Disappointed large parts of my marriage have been a sham (complicated). Envious of others who have made their relationships work. Then having to look after others whilst feeling tired and shattered.

Yes, I have a feeling of constant anxiety. I have also been encouraged by him not to believe I can cope on my own/believe in my own abilities but this has been very subtle up until recently where he has been openly critical and sarcastic.

The emotional fallout is worrying me as I know mental/emotional tiredness can be crushing (physical tiredness apart). I feel overwhelmed at the prospect but my life can't continue like this, it is no way to live. I'm trying to be as prepared as I can be but it's going to be chaotic for a while isn't it. I can't plan for everything.

Anyone got any ideas for an easier transition? What needs to come first (obviously once house is found). I will own the house not rented (that is the plan),