House/equity/buy him out

[MumtoTnowsingle]

So, we have a joint mortgage, ex wants a divorce & 50/50 on the house when's its sold after education finishes, aprox 6-8 years time. We will only come away with aprox £120/5 k after mortgage/fees are paid.
I realise I'm being too nice, as I will need to buy a 2 bed house & he a 1 bed, so I need more of the equity to provide a roof over both our heads.
We have not discussed pensions & neither of us can afford solicitors, assets are the house & pensions. We both work full time he brings home no less than 50% more than me a month, child has just turnt 12, Im thinking I may beable to buy him out with him having 30/35% of the equity and sign the house fully to me, he will have to only pay CM + extras for our child as advised by a free half hour i got from a family solicitor.
any other advice out there, am i being unreasonable?

Why are his housing needs different to yours?

Courts generally want clean break divorces, not agreements that have you tied financially for the next 6-8 years, meaning your ex cannot buy somewhere else. Why are you delaying selling the house?
Why would the child's dad need only 1 bed and you 2 bed - is the dad not sharing overnights?
Why are you ignoring pensions? Ex might be willing to give a greater share of equity in return for leaving pension alone if his pot is much larger than yours.

His housing needs are the same as yours. Why do you think he only needs a 1 bed when he has a 12 year old who should be staying over ?

70% seems a high split to you but without knowing earnings, total assets, needs, housing costs etc impossible to say

does he not want 50:50 child arrangements?

btw he wouldn’t have to pay extras in your scenario / just cms

more likely house will be sold now than in 6-8 years

This is what he wants, he wants to buy a 1 bed property

He wants to take equity out the house, but that's a financial risk to me if i agreed, our child dies not want to stay overnight but I have encouraged it, as they do need time with him and I don't want to interfere with that at all. Even 35% of quity is close to what we would both come away with even if the house was sold now.
Our child wants to remain here and we agreed this is less upset.
I can't afford to buy a 2 bed on my own nor can he, the matter is what's best for our child and hiw I can best provide now and going forward, hus pension pot is larger then mine

As i am the primary provider, he wants a 1 bed & is willing to sleep on the sofa if/when our child stays over, which at the moment they don't want to

This is what hes decided he wants although he could afford a 2 bed, he earns 50% more than I do monthly, he would them only have a small mortgage and only have to pay CM.
we have always gone 50/50 on bills including mortgage, visitation has been agreed 2 evening a week & every other weekend, just trying to navigate best for me & my child

To add to this we are trying to get sorted through the mediation process as we cannot afford courts

He wants to take equity out the house, but that's a financial risk to me if i agreed, our child does not want to stay overnight but I have encouraged it, as they do need time together and I don't want to interfere with that at all. Even 35% of quity is close to what we would both come away with even if the house was sold now.
Our child wants to remain here and we agreed this is less upset.
I can't afford to buy a 2 bed on my own but he can, the matter is what's best for our child and how I can best provide now and going forward, his pension pot is larger then mine

Basically you want to stay in house till DC is 16/18, take out a mortgage to pay him 35% now and you take on a mortgage yourself alone, whilst DH pays CMS and then sell the house a few years time. Have you checked that you can get a mortgage on your own for this amount. Do you actually know what his pension pot is worth at the moment as it does need taking into consideration.

It’s not clear what you are saying you want to achieve. Is it to keep his share until the child turns 18 and then split 50:50. Or is it to give him 35% of the equity now as a clean break?

What are your relative take home incomes as opposed to salary taking account of benefits you are entitled to as well as child support. Have you scope to maximise your income ?

I wouldn’t count on child support plus extras. If he has no overnights the extras are all yours and anything else will be discretionary.

I think you need to add up pensions and house equity and see what it comes to. Go 50/50 as a starting point and then see if you can buy him out or downsize to a 2 bed now. So for example:

his pension: £200k
your pension: £100k
house equity: £200k

the total is £500k, you both walk away with £250k. You take out a mortgage for £50k and then keep the house. You both keep your pensions. He has a higher mortgage capacity, lower housing needs and (o think this is still the case) can take 25% of his pension tax free to top up his house deposit if needed.

I’d want to explore the clean break option now because you don’t want to be stressing about moving/larger mortgage etc just at the point when DC is 18 and potentially starting uni, you’re older etc etc.

You are being taken for a ride it would appear... your husband has told you want he wants and you're not challenging it as he has told you you can't afford a solicitor?

His pension will be worth signifcantly more than yours - get them both evaluated!

Use the pension evaluation to negotiate the house equity. Unless your kid is significantly disabled it will likely be easier to clean break now taking pensions into account.

Don't bank on ANYTHING beyond CMS - assuming he is PAYE employed not self employed. He can stop paying everything else at any point.