Separating - Deductions from equity

[Singlefor2025]

I'm separating from my partner of 16 years after a Christmas bust up, and I will be buying him out of our house. We're trying to keep things amicable for DC9, so whilst I will be seeing a solicitor I will be keeping that quiet, at least initially.

It's early stages but I am looking at finances and how much I'll need to pay him. My question is how much, if anything, can I deduct from the split of the house equity?

ExP was self employed, but hasn't worked and thus contributed to the joint account in a meanful way since October 2022. I can covered all mortgage, utility, food, entertainment, leisure etc etc in that period. He also wrote off a car in that time, which I had to top up the insurance payout to replace (I do t drive it).

Can I/should I be deducting any of these expenses from the equity before I pay him out? I'm not sure where the line is between being fair and being unreasonable in not supporting him. Thanks for any advice.

No you shouldn’t deduct things like that. If you jointly own the home 50/50 and aren’t married , he is entitled to 50% of the equity.

I'd suggest getting legal advice. And it depends on contracts you drew up when you bought the house if you are not married.

If you’re married the starting point is 50/50 and things like that aren’t taken into account. If he agrees to give some up you might be able to, but is that likely?

the first thing a court looks for is to make sure you can both adequately house yourselves

does he earn less than you? If so he might argue for more than 50/50

how long have you been together since first cohabitation?

Your concern should not be deducting money from your shared equity, but rather any claim he may have over your future earnings. If hes unemployed he may want financial support to help him get back into the work force. Or he may also claim he is the resident parent who does the bulk of the care for your daughter so she will live with him and he can claim child support from you. At 9rs she is not old enough to chose who she lives with. I think you probably have bigger issues than trying to claim more equity. In divorces where there is not enough to go around cases are based on needs, who needs what. And being unemployed for some time means his needs are greater. I would be careful and generous.

Thanks for your responses, not what I was hoping to hear but thank you. I will be talking to a solicitor, I just wanted some initial thoughts as it's driving me nuts!

I would have thought at least the mortgage payments could be considered, but I'll see what the solicitor says.
We lived together for about 12 years.

With him not working - he was self employed, and when the business started failing (COVID mainly), he chose not to put the time in to fix it, and instead put his efforts into gaming and half hearted housework. I regularly asked him to work, he started doing deliveries then wrote off the car, and then it's back to gaming and being a dick. He's never been unable to work, just chose not to. Seems unfair, but I am probably a bit bitter!

Legal advice is best course. If you own 50/50 he's entitled to 50%. But I think for example you can offer a bit less for fees that would have been incurred during the sale. E.g. if £100K equity 50/50 you could probably offer him more like £45K. But he doesn't need to take it. In fact if he's difficult about it you may end up paying him more than 50% just to get him to go because legal route is so much more expensive and long it would be cheaper and more expedient to give him £55K of the equity than the cost of court to let you give him £50K (and it taking you over a year to do so).

If you're joint tenants then he is entitled to 50% if not married. That's it. If he's open to negotiation you might be able to decide differently between you but he would have to agree.

Assuming you’re not married and are joint tenants then you owe him 50% of equity regardless of who paid what.

You can deduct reasonable and notional selling fees ( eg as if you were actually selling ) but that’s it ( if he doesn’t agree to any other proposal )

When you are married it doesn't matter - I contributed 70% of household spend inc. mortgage but we still split 50/50.

Basically, personal debt cannot be included (although there are cases when it can), but as a starting point savings, equity and any high value goods are 'put in a pot' and split between you.