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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Husband not informing people he's not living at family home

31 replies

Bogfaerie · 11/01/2025 12:40

My husband has left the family home a few months ago. I'm divorcing. He has gotten into his own personal debt. I'm sick of people and letters coming here. I'm forwarding them all to where he is living. Is there anything I can do to stop it. I've notified the electoral register and all bills but these are debtors.

OP posts:
Needamagicfairy · 11/01/2025 12:41

Stop forwarding and put back in postbox with not at this address since x date. Stopped ones I got for previous occupant

shellyleppard · 11/01/2025 12:42

Can you contact royal mail and ask them to put a divert on post with his name?? It will take a couple of weeks to work properly. Otherwise just put return to sender on the envelope and post.

ComtesseDeSpair · 11/01/2025 12:50

Presumably he’s still a co-owner of the family home despite not living there? If he’s ignoring correspondence and debt collectors at his address then creditors will be trying to trace him back to any alternative address he’s currently linked with, thus the family home. Keep reposting and returning mail to sender, but ultimately only removing that link is going to stop everything.

millymollymoomoo · 11/01/2025 12:54

If he’s in debt due to paying rent etc elsewhere then they needs to be sorted

is the fmh owned/mortgaged/rented?

Freeflight · 11/01/2025 17:34

Has he accrued this debt post him leaving? Was it solely for his benefit?
I'd be more worried about making sure I wasn't liable as a "no longer at this address" should suffice.
The issue is if it is considered part of the marital pot and therefore they can come after you and the home if they require payment.
Make sure you have proper advice and protect yourself.

Bogfaerie · 12/01/2025 12:45

millymollymoomoo · 11/01/2025 12:54

If he’s in debt due to paying rent etc elsewhere then they needs to be sorted

is the fmh owned/mortgaged/rented?

My home owned outright no mortgage. He's an idiot with money all his own debt and spending not in my name. I've took all bills on all up to date in my name. This is his personal debt

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 12/01/2025 12:55

The house is still a marital
asset

his debt may be classed as such

You have to sever financial ties and the only way to do so is divorce and get a clean break consent order. Your op says you’re divorcing/ is that in progress ?

Tumbler2121 · 12/01/2025 13:02

How long have you been married? Your house could be a much bigger problem than any recent debts he has.

My ex had no debts, much higher income than me and my house that I owned with tiny mortgage when we met was classed as the marital home ...

pestowithwalnuts · 12/01/2025 13:10

Be careful OP
If the debts go unpaid you could end up with the bailiff at the door.
They will probably want to remove anything of value that might belong to dh. It will be up to you to prove that it's yours. ie. PC tv etc
It's good that you have removed him for the election register.

needapokerface · 12/01/2025 13:17

If the letters are coming to your home,then I guess your husband took the loans out using that address. You need to open the letters when they come and contact the companies and let them know you are divorcing and he moved out x months ago and this is his new address.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 12/01/2025 13:23

Bogfaerie · 11/01/2025 12:40

My husband has left the family home a few months ago. I'm divorcing. He has gotten into his own personal debt. I'm sick of people and letters coming here. I'm forwarding them all to where he is living. Is there anything I can do to stop it. I've notified the electoral register and all bills but these are debtors.

Phone them up and give them his new address.

Bogfaerie · 12/01/2025 19:02

needapokerface · 12/01/2025 13:17

If the letters are coming to your home,then I guess your husband took the loans out using that address. You need to open the letters when they come and contact the companies and let them know you are divorcing and he moved out x months ago and this is his new address.

Yes I've been informing everyone that he dies not live here. They are his debts in his name I'm not liable for them

OP posts:
Bogfaerie · 12/01/2025 19:04

Tumbler2121 · 12/01/2025 13:02

How long have you been married? Your house could be a much bigger problem than any recent debts he has.

My ex had no debts, much higher income than me and my house that I owned with tiny mortgage when we met was classed as the marital home ...

How is the marital home the problem. We both jointly own it outright. The debts he has are his alone not mine. The house is up for sale.

OP posts:
rabblenotrebel · 12/01/2025 19:08

If you're married, they're your debts until divorce.

This is why marriage can be risky.

Blue278 · 12/01/2025 19:10

You can apply to have your credit rating separated from his name. If you haven’t already done this.

millymollymoomoo · 12/01/2025 19:22

Until you’re divorced with consent order you’re still financially linked.
he could try to have these debts offset as part of marital pot /split

not saying he’ll be successful but you should sever these ties asap

Bogfaerie · 12/01/2025 20:37

millymollymoomoo · 12/01/2025 19:22

Until you’re divorced with consent order you’re still financially linked.
he could try to have these debts offset as part of marital pot /split

not saying he’ll be successful but you should sever these ties asap

They are his personal debts nothing to do with me so won't come off my share of home. If they were spent on home or me then it would.

OP posts:
rabblenotrebel · 12/01/2025 21:17

Bogfaerie · 12/01/2025 20:37

They are his personal debts nothing to do with me so won't come off my share of home. If they were spent on home or me then it would.

But... You're married. You don't have personal finances until you're divorced! This is marriage.

Bogfaerie · 12/01/2025 21:31

rabblenotrebel · 12/01/2025 21:17

But... You're married. You don't have personal finances until you're divorced! This is marriage.

According to my solicitor husband personal debt is his. If it is not in my name and not loans that have been spent on home holidays they're his.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 12/01/2025 22:20

That’s too simplistic
it’s a grey area. Of course it’s possible they will be considered individual debts, but it’s not 100% given and until you’re divorced with a clean break you cannot be 100% guaranteed that will be the case.

so have you started divorce and financial severance ?

Treacletoots · 12/01/2025 22:25

Its really not as simple as you're making it out to be. Any debts accrued during the marriage are joint debt, until you take action to resolve this. You are still married, therefore those debts are jointly yours.

I'd get another legal opinion.

Bogfaerie · 13/01/2025 09:33

Treacletoots · 12/01/2025 22:25

Its really not as simple as you're making it out to be. Any debts accrued during the marriage are joint debt, until you take action to resolve this. You are still married, therefore those debts are jointly yours.

I'd get another legal opinion.

I've had legal advice. The debts are not mine. The issue is my husband not informing where he lives to people.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 13/01/2025 10:06

Bogfaerie · 13/01/2025 09:33

I've had legal advice. The debts are not mine. The issue is my husband not informing where he lives to people.

All you can do is keep returning mail to sender with “not known at this address”, and advising debt collectors of his home address. As the marital home is co-owned, it technically is still an address he can use for correspondence, and which creditors can trace him to, even if he has moved out. Once the divorce has been finalised and the house sold / equity transferred to you, there will no longer be a link and if creditors are tracing him back to it they’ll no longer be able to do that.

DoIEver · 13/01/2025 10:09

rabblenotrebel · 12/01/2025 19:08

If you're married, they're your debts until divorce.

This is why marriage can be risky.

This is absolute rubbish. You don't have to pay back your husband or wife's debts if they are solely in their name.

Lurkingandlearning · 13/01/2025 10:25

Perhaps OP is not in UK. UK spouses don’t have personal assets, regardless of whose name the asset is held in. I think the same applies to debts. It would be very unfair otherwise.