Quick background - long marriage, past cheating by DH, he is a high earner. I currently do not work due to my health, kids disability (better now), and giving up my career to look after the kids.
We have both been unhappy for a long time, he has talked about divorce before, while I have been scared of it. He currently seems ok but I am at the end of my tether and now seriously considering it.
My tale is the usual one - no pension, no career, no financial security. He will be a high earner until he decides to retire. I could get a job at some point but probably only part time and I am limited in what I can do due to health conditions.
DH due a large, life changing bonus in 2 years. During that time, kids will almost be 18 (twins). I have obtained advice of a solicitor and this bonus would obviously not be an asset, even though it’s been agreed now.
I am very conscious of the kids exams and want to do this at the best time for them (although no right time). If I split now, I would get a higher proportion of the assets due to the kids being with me, but lose the future bonus. If I leave it until kids are 18, would I still get 50% if I didn’t need to house the kids? Solicitor wasn’t very certain I’d even get that.
This all sounds very heartless and obsessed with money but I’m so depressed and worried about my precarious situation (my fault I know but I got married young and naive). At the moment, it would be my decision to split, although I don’t think DH would be that upset.
Anyone been in a similar situation? As I said, the solicitor (cost me a fortune so can’t afford to talk to another one) did answer some questions but I do have more now. What happens with long marriages, high net worth, adult kids generally? I’m most worried about effect on the kids.
Thanks