Help with co-parenting

[Zorbamum]

Hi there - first time post here so please be kind!

I decided to ask my husband for a divorce just before new year as I haven’t been happy for a long time and I have tried to make it work but he just isn’t my person anymore.

My question is we have a two year old daughter who will live with me and visit her dad. We are currently co-habitting but once our house is sold he plans to move to London as his friends and family are there and I plan to move back down to Dorset as my family are there. We currently live in the middle. We have agreed to meet halfway to do handover however he wants to have her one day a weekend (depending on when football is on as he has a season ticket - dont get me started!) I feel this approach is pretty inconsistent as game days change and i think its unfair for her to be put in the car for 4 hours every weekend going up and down the motorway for a day trip sometimes an overnight stay. I feel a better approach would be a weekend stay every other weekend. When i suggested this to him he got really angry and told me i was being unreasonable. I understand it will be so hard for him not to see her every week but I just think his approach is unrealistic.

I would love to know of any other co-parents who live far apart what they do and if I am being unreasonable!

Thank you x

I just can't believe that a football match and some friends would be a factor in deciding when I saw my child. I'm trying to think of advice but I just can't get passed that.

I know. It has been the bain of my life but apparently its his hobby….

Is he intending the one day of the weekend to be a long term arrangement?

The problem with this is that it limits everyone's options in the future. Neither can take her away for the weekend without the permission of the other. What happens when she starts to want to go to birthday parties etc. He just doesn't sound like he's willing to be very flexible and that doesn't really work with children and co-parenting.

I suggested we trial it to begin with as I think its unrealistic. He got annoyed at this and he did say he would cancel his ticket if it came to it.

This is what he fails to understand as I mentioned to him about her going swimming or dance classes at the weekend but with this arrangement she can’t do anything. He said its more important for her to see him. How can we plan anything if the day always changes. Also i work full time too when will I be able to spend quality time with her!!

The thing with him is (and a big reason as to why I’m leaving) he is very good a manipulating what I say and making me the bad guy. I want her to have a great relationship with him but what he wants just wont work for any of us.