Buy him out or sell & split ?

[user1467889240]

Hi, me & my partner of 14 years have decided to split. We have a mortgage that has only 9 years left on it. I would really like to keep the house & buy him out but that would mean me remortgaging & as I couldn’t afford the monthly repayments that we have now I would have to remortgage for 20 years. If we sell & split I’ve worked out I could only get a mortgage to a property that needs work. My share of the sale would be about £30000 which I could use to update. Im really stumped as what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks xx

I’m sorry to hear about your situation, it's a tough decision, but here are some things to consider. Whether it’s worth selling and splitting depends on your priorities and financial situation. Selling would give you a fresh start and free up your £30,000 share of equity, which you could use to buy and renovate a property within your budget, though you’d need to ensure the cost of updates is manageable. If staying in the house provides you with stability and emotional comfort, remortgaging for 20 years to buy your partner out might be worth it, but only if the repayments are sustainable and won’t cause long-term financial strain. You could also explore other options, like renting your partner’s share temporarily, to give yourself time to decide. Ultimately, the right choice balances financial security and emotional well-being take your time, weigh the pros and cons, and consult a mortgage broker or financial advisor to fully understand your options and find the best path forward

Buy him out with a re-mortgage to pay off his share of the equity. Once you step off the ladder it's a lot harder to get back on, and you'll likely find the cost of the mortgage (get quotes) will work out less than the cost of renting. You also know the house and anything likely to go wrong with it, so you're not buying an unknown do-er-upper that may have hidden issues.
Is there a spare room you can rent out to help tide you over for a while and spread the cost?
When you make the offer, do take into account there will be no EA fees to take off the equity before splitting, plus if there is any work that needs doing on the house (in order to sell eg gas/electricity certificates, anything that needs doing eg replace guttering, repaint), make ex an offer reflecting that too.

If your share is 30k then his must be more or less the same. Why would extending your mortgage by this amount mean you need to extend your borrowing from 9 years to 20 years.

Well done on the AI generated response.

Hi thanks for your replies. I think I'm going to get in touch with my mortgage company & see how I fair with remortgaging. I don't really want to sell & start over somewhere else. So hopefully I can stay. The reason why I'd have to extend mortgage is because my partner is 14 years older than me, they would only offer us a short term mortgage until he turned 70. The repayments would be too much for me by myself so I'd have to lower monthly payments by extending.

Hi, I’ve kept the house as my share of the divorce but when I came trying to take the mortgage on, the underwriters refused as I don’t earn enough. I had planned to extend the mortgage to make it affordable but it still was a no go. It’s not even a big mortgage either but realistically, I would be on the bones of my ar*e every month trying to keep it so it’s up for sale now.
it’s not just the mortgage… it’s all the bills and outgoings as well. I’ve gone through every bill trying to reduce it as much as I can but it’s making me ill with anxiety over paying it all alone.

If you can make it work then definitely stay in the house. If I could, I would. But it also needs things doing to it and money spending on it which I don’t have. I’m in a bit of a financial mess now 😢

Ok so we thought we could work things out but his jealousy & mood swings have accelerated big time. I work in a shop & there’s a delivery driver that I suppose most would say he’s good looking,I don’t, & my colleagues made a joke that he fancies me. Now my partner thinks there’s something going on between us, I promise you there’s not, my partner been diagnosed with a personality disorder & he’s taken steroids for muscle mass which I know messes with thoughts, now I feel I have to break up with him, I’ve tried so hard to help him with his disorder but he is so paranoid I don’t think there’s anyway through this

Sell & Split

We did this and my new home is mine! I've chosen it and everything in it - no memories or ghosts. Best thing ever - and we went through a very amicable split and are still on really good terms.
14 months on and I still get pure joy at the thought of my new home.

Good luck x

Thank you for your reply, I just don’t want to leave my home & if we sold I wouldn’t have the wage to get anything half decent, as if we split I’d only have 70k 🙈

Remortgage and stay!
Assuming you like the house. I did.
Nothing stopping you selling and moving in the future but this likely will be the most economical option. You can always overpay the longer mortgage to reduce the length as and when you can afford to.

I remortgaged and stayed. You don’t want to pay for stamp duty and fees so try and do everything to avoid that if you can. I would get a mortgage in principle to see if it’s even possible as the answer will make the decision for you maybe? Good luck- it will be ok

Thanks for your replies I will get on to my mortgage company Monday & see if can can remortgage, think it’s the best option x

OP
I bought my ex husband out- I had to extend the mortgage by 5 years.
The best thing I did was get advice from the bank's mortgage advisor- she was amazing and I don't think I could have done it as well without her. They sorted out the transfer of funds for the buyout and changing the deeds over.

It provided the stability I needed at the time. A further benefit to staying is that I know the infrastructure of the house. I'm not sure I could have coped with finding out a roof needed fixing, or the boiler needed replacing at that time.
Also, moving is expensive- the fees, moving services and all associated costs.

If you stay now, you can always sell in the future and get a place which is completely yours.

It's important to know that a mortgage company will loan you nothing different if you stay or leave the home.
From what I found, the home will be valued as of today, the remaining mortgage will transfer to you to pay off and then you will have to source funds to pay for his half of the difference between what is still owed and the current value (likely added to your mortgage).
This would basically leave you having the same mortgage as if you sold and moved onto another property of the same value.
All you actually gain from staying financially is no EA fees.

I left, my ex bought me out.
I'm glad I left, so so glad. It's a total fresh start, not ghosts, no memories, no triggers. And I cleared my stuff but he's left will all the random stuff that belongs to no one.
A friend was the one who stayed, she wishes they'd sold. He would randomly come round and wander in because it's familiar to him, it's been hard for her to set boundaries for him as it used to be his home.
He also left stuff that is now her problem.